The wedding was great, very intimate and comfortable. Damien and I went in the back of the place to see Shannon before the wedding, and she was absolutely beautiful. Illeigh (her 6 year old daughter) was the only one with her, and when the wedding started Illeigh was her maid of honor. It was just Mac, his dad as best man, Illeigh, and Shannon. After they exchanged rings (Shannon cried through her vows, I knew she would), Mac paused the ceremony to give Illeigh a locket with pictures of the three of them inside. He told her that they wanted her to have it, because it was something she could have "now that our family has been made official". Of course, this is the point in the ceremony that I started crying my damned self. I couldn't help it! At the reception, I gave Shannon the card with the letter I wrote in it, she read the first two lines and her eyes filled up with tears and she told me she would have to read it later. About 1/2 way through the reception, Shannon went to the band's stage and everyone crowded around to hear her sing "I Could Not Ask For More" by Edwin McCain to Mac. It was a complete surprise, no one but Amy, Maggie, & myself knew about it. Mac was speechless, the look on his face was priceless. I went home and put on my pajamas. Sometime around an hour later Shannon called to tell me how much she loved me and how much the letter meant to her. I heard Mac in the background asking how I managed to write it. They stayed at the Wyndham last night and this morning flew from Atlanta to Miami and are now on a big boat headed for the Bahamas until Thursday. Hope they don't contract Ebola virus while they're on the boat!
I went to my room last night and was still in the mood I've been in for the past 3 days, alternately crying and feeling very low. I couldn't sleep straight away so I turned on the TV and lo and behold "Philadelphia" was coming on. I love that movie, it has been a long time since I had seen it, so I watched it...and bawled my monkey ass off...
I wanted to wake Damien up if he was asleep and ask him to come over or see if I could come over there, but I was feeling so bad from my muck (I have a double ear infection and a lot of sinus congestion) that I could only lay there and cry. I actually needed that I think in retrospect.
I still felt low this morning, and after my conversation with Maggie (who is also feeling about the same) I'm still feling shaky. my ears are popping and making wierd noises, they gurgle (ewwwww!!) when I blow my nose sometimes, and there is a constant dull ache. My hearing is really fuzzy right now, but I'm taking an antibiotic and that'll hopefully clear it up. Also taking an antihistamine for the congestion and the crud inside my ear canal.
I need a winning lotto ticket and the ability to lighten up at will instead of making myself completely crazed, that's what I need. In spite of how bad I feel physically and emotionally, it could all be much much worse. I have Damien and two whole families of people that love me and I have the greatest friends ever. All in all I think I'm pretty damned lucky.
- Music:the computer fan humming