Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

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Ho Hum...

Went to Mom & Dad's last night to help install the new home theater system they got and spend some quality family time. We got it done and I even got up on a ladder for half of it - and it didn't really bother me, either! We had Fazoli's for dinner. It ain't homeade, but for what it is it rocks balls. Besides, dinner is only as good as the company you have it with in a lot of instances.

I'm reposting this entry from last year because it fits my current state of mind. For as much as I love the holidays, despite the absence of any spiritual connection to Jesus (who was reportedly born in May anyway) this time of year I associate with some of the worst things I have ever survived. It is hard not to get sucked back through all of that emotional stuff and not be affected by some of it still, I'm a strong man but I'm not that strong.

Those who love me want to fix it all and make it better - understand that some things cannot be fixed. Some things just stay broken and you have to learn to live with that fact. All you can do for me is to give me my time and space when I ask for it and not take it personally. I get more moody than normal this time of year (I'm not kidding) and am ocaisionally prone to fits of anger and/or fits of tears. It's just me and my stuff and most likely has nothing to do with you guys. Just understand and be ready to let me be me.

On a lighter note, something funny happened at home last night just before the Sopranos came on. I was checking my email and replying to some friends, Maggie was making decaf for us to have during the show, and Nathan was in the living room sampling a slice of cheesecake. Apparently it was really good cheesecake because he yelled aloud "Well slap me and cal me Betty Crocker!" Maggie and I looked at each other, began grinning and ran to the living room.....

Only A Dream
by Mary Chapin-Carpenter
...with all my love, for my Shay Shay...

I can recall the sound of the wind
as it blew through the trees
and the trees would bend.
And I can recall the smell of the rain
on a hot summer night
coming through the screen.
I'd crawl in your bed
when the lightning flashed,
And I'd still be there
when the storm had passed,
Dead to the world till the morning cast
its light all around your room.

We lived on a street where the tall elms' shade
was as green as the grass
and as cool as a blade
That you held in your teeth as we lay on our backs
staring up at the blue,
and the blue stared back.
I used to believe
we were just like those trees,
We'd grow just as tall
and as proud as we pleased,
With our feet on the ground
and our arms in the breeze
under a sheltering sky.

Twirl me about and twirl me around,
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground,
And when I look up at you looking down,
Say it was only a dream.

A big truck was parked in the drive one day;
they wrapped us in paper
and moved us away.
Your room was no longer next door to mine,
and this kid sister thing was old
by that time.
But, oh, how our dreams
went bump in the night
And the voices downstairs
getting into a fight,
And the next day a silence
you could cut with a knife,
and feel like a blade at your throat.

Twirl me about and twirl me around,
Let me grow dizy and fall to the ground,
And when I look up at you looking down,
Say it was only a dream.

The day you left home you got an early start.
I watched your car
back out in the dark.
I opened the door to your room down the hall,
I turned on the light
and all that I saw,
Was a bed and a desk
and a couple of tacks,
No sign of someone
who expects to be back.
It must have been one hell of a suitcase
you packed.

Twirl me about and twirl me around,
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground,
And when I look up at you looking down,
Say it was only a dream.
Tags: mythmas

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