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The Bible Says "God Hates Fags"! 
24th-Jan-2007 08:30 am
An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us, let's help get their message out!

They are called Love God's Way Ministries, led by the decidedly creepy cubbish Donnie Davies, self appointed spokesperson for the Fuhrer that is God. Learn exciting new acronyms like C.H.O.P.S., which stands for "CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE!" Parents can learn a great deal from this informative and realistic site as well, such as which music to shield their impressionable young children from as it comes from gay bands. I myself, a hopelessly bent pickle-smoker, can attest to the power of a gay band's influence. Had I never heard Ravi Shankar, DMX, Ghostface Killa, The Doors, Metallica, or Jay-Z, I might never have developed into the filthy faggot I am hopelessly consigned to flame for all eternity for being, but I accept that this is also another shining example of Jesus' love too! Seriously, I know that hearing "Love Her Madly" by The Doors is what made me predisposed towards indiscriminate three-ways and that twitchy feeling I get in my no-no place every time I see a bathroom stall with a decent sized hole cut out of it. I hear "Niggaz Done Started Something" by DMX and I lose all self control... MUST! FUCK! ASS!

Brother Donnie shares some very interesting philosophies also! Take, for instance, his love and admiration of Oscar Wilde as stated in his mission:
Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I'm not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.
What a sweet and well reasoned thing to say!

Meet Brother Donnie,
Reformed Fag-cum-Minister *giggle*

He even has an exciting band called Evening Service! Now remember, they don't want to be labeled a 'Christian band', although their faith is a big inspiration! They even have an exciting new song out called "The Bible Says (God Hates Fags)"! Isn't that catchy and oh-so-thoughtful? Goodness gracious, I just want to cry everytime I hear it!

The Bible Says (God Hates Fags) - Evening Service

Mmmm ... yeah, yeah

Give me strength to fight temptation
Lord, lead me to your salvation
The Bible says as plain as day
With a man you shall not lay

Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above

Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice

God hates a fag
God hates fags
God hates fags
So if you're a fag, He hates you, too

Read the Bible and you'll be sure
To enter heaven, there's no back door
Righteous man, get on your knees
There lies no virtue in sodomy

Lord you are my shield
Sustain me through the fight
A shelter from the urges
And help me see the light

You filthy sinners should just let me be
'Cause Jesus my savior's the only man for me


Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above

Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice


What's that, you say? A VIDEO IS OUT FOR THE SONG??? OH MY WORD! See for yourself, saints & sinners alike! Make sure you tell all your little friends about this post - link to me here and help me raise awareness of this important and well-intended work that Brother Donnie and his 'friends' are doing! And remember, kids - Jesus loves you, but DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!


This Is What You'll Be Posting:

An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us,
let's help get their message out!

Read jesus_h_biscuit's post here for more info!

Hat tips to Jesus General, the last true heterosexual Christian patriot (and former giver of the best reach around EVAR), and to my beloved Pam for leading me to this path of righteousness. Now if you'll excuse me, I must find my poppers and Crisco...
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
24th-Jan-2007 02:07 pm (UTC)
I'm about 90% sure this is a joke, albeit a bad one.
24th-Jan-2007 02:10 pm (UTC)
Perhaps - but still, this was fun.
24th-Jan-2007 02:09 pm (UTC)
Um, so, I hate to be a stickler, but where does the S come from in C.H.O.P.S?

Imagine his horror when he gets to the pearly gates and discovers that good grammar is a requirement!
24th-Jan-2007 02:12 pm (UTC)
There exists a possibility this is all for the sake of satire and/or parody, but I couldn't resist.

Also, I think the "S" stands for "Smokers", as in "Ordinary People SMOKERS".
24th-Jan-2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
You're kidding right? Ravi Shankar is a source of "gay media???"

Well, I guess me listening to Rag Maj Kammaj isn't helping any :)
24th-Jan-2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
Yes - but Cyndi Lauper is 'safe'.
24th-Jan-2007 03:28 pm (UTC)
if i were richard butler, i would sue!

did you hear how they fucking MANGLED the psych furs song :love My Way" at the end of that little introductory video?

quelle scandal!
24th-Jan-2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
I did not know that was a PF song!
(Deleted comment)
24th-Jan-2007 04:21 pm (UTC) - I can copy/paste too!
Fanaticism lends itself very easily to fascism, perhaps it is you who should reconsider all of the atrocity committed in the name of religion as there is plenty. Essentially every war, almost all oppression, the Reformation alone should suffice. To say that God has nothing to do with religion, or God has nothing to do with Nazism, perhaps would be more accurate.
(Deleted comment)
24th-Jan-2007 03:51 pm (UTC)
Is it OK that I wanted to yell "Show us your tits" when he took his jacket off?
24th-Jan-2007 04:21 pm (UTC)
Whomever you are, I *heart* you.
24th-Jan-2007 04:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah, they've just got to be kidding.

Next year I am going to give up being black.
24th-Jan-2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
The jacket disrobing alone would have qualified this to be a sequence within the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader" IMDB
24th-Jan-2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
Being an avid music fan, I had to check and make sure that none of the music I listen to is "gay".

I noticed Clay Aiken on there, so I was albe to absolve myself of that one. However, it appears that ABBA, Cher, Bette Midler, RuPaul, Q but not U, and The Queers are safe to listen to.
24th-Jan-2007 07:14 pm (UTC)
Oscar Wilde was a flaming faggot. He fanned the flames of his faggotry until he died. Just like Karl Lagerfeld.

I saw the Gay Band list yesterday and I loved that Elton John gets to be (really gay)
24th-Jan-2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
Gay enough he's listed twice!
24th-Jan-2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
It's brilliant parody, really -- though I'd like to point out that I saw the video first, and I said, 'it's parody' about twenty seconds before the chorus showed up, so bully for me, though I guess that's more of an indication that I've been overly exposed to what this is trying to parody, so ... no bully for me at all.
24th-Jan-2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
yeah - it smacks of satire to me - though I guess it's possible that it's not...

though i'd say slight chance...
25th-Jan-2007 01:11 am (UTC)

I can' half picture him saying: "Here, sweetie! Cum check out my exgay band, okay? Then maybe we can pary and have bible study in my bedroom. Bring your swim trunks!"


Who is that man in your mood icon? He's *pretty*.
26th-Jan-2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
OMG.. I see poor old Clay has been outed once again... and this time it is by his own flock. What brotherhood!!

I also enjoy seeing "Elton John (really gay)"

made me tee-hee.
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