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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
Time is the great gift; sex is the great equalizer; love is the great mystery 
6th-Jan-2007 11:40 am
Mary Chapin Carpenter
  • The Dreaming Road [lyrics]
  • Alone But Not Lonely [lyrics]
  • What Was It Like [lyrics]
  • Late For Your Life/Going Home [lyrics]

I adore Mary Chapin Carpenter, she's one of my favorite singer-songwriters. She's the Joni Mitchell of my generation as far as I'm concerned. She writes and sings about requited and unrequited love like few can. I have long said that one of the most awful, sick feelings is when you know you love someone desperately who doesn't love you back. Knowing and being in touch with the war between heart and mind, and all of the perspective you lose in the process, these are the sorts of things she writes about. Extraordinary music.

The above tracks are from the album "Time* Sex* Love*", and are a few of the real standouts from that album. Here are the reasons I love these songs:

The Dreaming Road
I loved you more than life and I guess that's why I died
When you would not love me back I couldn't survive
And so the girl I was turned into someone else
Keeping to myself and from the light
I wasn't odd or strange, just quietly rearranged
Sometimes the biggest change stays out of sight

[...]

But beneath this ancient sky, one night we did collide
And the hole I thought was scaled opened wide
I tried so hard again not to fall back in
But you had me then by the throat
And a strange futility came washing over me
Almost peacefully I felt the rope

[...]

The stars are out tonight, the breeze is soft and light
As I'm walking right back to you
With nothing left to hide, the tears have all been cried
And the girl who died is walking too
Down the dreaming road, where the light is always gold
The air is never cold and always fine
And north is always true and you are always you
And I'm that girl you knew once upon a time
Alone But Not Lonely - this is what I listen to when Damien goes out of town on business.
Everyday on the street I study their faces
The ones who rush on through the crowd
Towards their own quiet worlds, their separate places
Somewhere I'm never allowed
'Cause I've always been one to say what I need
And than the next thing it's done and I'm watching 'em leave
And I'm thinking, I wish I could be
Alone but not lonely

So which one are you tonight
Do you change with the morning light
Do you say more than what sounds right
Do you say what you mean?

There are moments in time that are meant to be held
Like fragile, breakable things
There are others that pass us, you can't even tell
Such is their grace and their speed
And this one is gone in the blink of an eye
You can ask me the truth but tonight I will lie
Unflinching I'll tell you that I'm alone but not lonely
What Was It Like
'Cause I feel like a big mistake that you managed to not quite make
And just walk away

[...]

You took something that felt so good
And crushed it because you could
One summer night
What was it like
Comments 
6th-Jan-2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
"the most awful, sick feeling is when you know you love someone desperately who doesn't love you back."

I'll give you that it's ONE of the most awful, sick feelings in the world...and it relates to far more than just romantic love and relationships, I think...

But you know I have a totally different take on unrequited love--because I'm a moran who can't read the dictionary. LOL
6th-Jan-2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
I love, love, love Mary Chapin Carpenter! Thanks for spreading the MCC love. :)

I think she is extremely under-appreciated, but isn't that how it goes sometime with music? I can't wait for her new album in March.
7th-Jan-2007 02:51 am (UTC)
I know all too well what this is like. (FUCK!) 15 years I held on to this idea that he would finally open up and love me like I loved him. He just wanted friendhsip, but couldn't he see how close we were, how much we shared, what was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he wake up and... so, year after year, I gave him more of myself, gave him - us - time to grow. And all I did was give, give, give. Now I don't give anymore and I think he won't talk to me because I have had to spend less time with him.

It is really bad, and I try and try to let it go, try to move forward and not feel any way toward him. I would gladly remove the part of me that holds onto him, if I could, like "...Spotless Mind."

One of my favorite "hurting" songs, if I may, comes from Burt Bacharach:
God Give Me Strength

Now I have nothing, so God give me strength
cause I'm weak in his wake
And if I'm strong I might still break
And I don't have anything to share
That I won't throw away into the air

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out [this belle is wrung out]
he was the light that I'd bless
he took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength, God give me strength

I cant hold onto him, God give me strength
When the phone doesn't ring
And I'm lost in imagining
Everything that kind of love is worth
As I tumble back down to the earth

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out
he was the light that Id bless
he took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength,

God if he'd grant me his indulgence and decline
I might as well wipe him from my memory
Fracture the spell as he becomes my enemy
Maybe I was washed out like a lip-print on his shirt
See, Im only human, I want him to hurt
I want him
I want him to hurt
...

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out
he was the light that I'd bless
he took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength, God give me strength

This song was featured in "Grace of my Heart," one of my favorite music movies. Elvis Costello kicks the shit out of this song live, too.
7th-Jan-2007 06:09 am (UTC)
You'll understand this, oh MCC fan.
2 weeks ago, I saw my MCC Come on Come On CD... after my puppy found it.

I'm still mad at Starbuck
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