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3rd-Jan-2007 08:07 am
God to Robertson: ‘Say Something Crazy’
Pat Robertson is at it again, this time claiming God told him that a major terrorist attack in 2007—possibly nuclear—would result in “mass killing.” The preacher demanded partial credit on Tuesday for predicting a possible tsunami after Spring rains drenched New England, so don’t rush to judge this latest communique.


“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” he said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward “national suicide.”

Robertson suggested in January 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians.

"I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."

You have a relatively good track record of being a complete raving fucking loon. Every time Pat Robertson opens his suckhole he proves once again not only the fallibility of God, but of God's penchant for hiring REALLY SHITTY PR people to spread his messages.

He's so dense, light bends around him. He's got a mind like a steel trap... rusted shut.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

Takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes".
3rd-Jan-2007 01:25 pm (UTC)
Mr. Robertson.

My god man! In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is my responsibility to set a bonfire underneath you. Per Exodus, "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." and "do not construct a graven image." Pat, it is my duty, in order to save your soul, to set you a blaze, that the burning fires of this earthly realm will free your soul from the sin that you have clearly mired yourself in.
Your brother in Christ.
Witchfinder Sgt.

Seriously bro. Pat... do me favor, and read the parts of that book about helping your fellow man and loving each other. Let me tell you, if Jesus was alive right now, he'd be doing a jello shots, a bong hit, and a few other hallucinogens after a hard days work at the homeless shelter.
3rd-Jan-2007 01:37 pm (UTC)
LOLOL. Yes, Jesus would ...

It's worrying that guys like Pat get air-time on TV and that people actually watch it .. and maybe even take him seriously.

3rd-Jan-2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
I still get a giggle over this:

When I lived in Virginia Beach for a time, I noticed that the Adopt-a-Highway program let GLAAD buy the highway space in front of Robertson's studios there. So the sign was right in front of their building. heh
3rd-Jan-2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
Sad part is, he'll probably have his government cronies nuke a part of the U.S.A. just so he can say he was right.
3rd-Jan-2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
"The Lord didn't say nuclear..."
I wonder if The Lord said "nuke-ya-ler."
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