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I Do Not Want This 
18th-Dec-2006 10:12 pm
It's just after 10PM. Damien is asleep in the other end of the loft and I'm out here in the living room area enjoying the relative quiet. Nothing is going on, everything is as fine as it can be. Then out of nowhere, I get that sinking sad feeling and I'm overwhelmed with the urge to cry, only there are no tears. I don't ever know where this comes from or why it is what it is.

You can't really cry dust, and if you could, it wouldn't be the same.
19th-Dec-2006 03:25 am (UTC)
Not trying to do an "LJ-diagnosis" but it's usually a function of a depressive episode.

The two primary emotions that gain prominence during depressive episodes are sadness/crying or anger/lashing out at others.

Some folks sometimes only experience this during the winter season, when there is less sunlight.

19th-Dec-2006 03:48 am (UTC)
Sometimes I wish I had those instead of the kinds driven by factors of which I'm fully aware. But I hope that fades for you.
19th-Dec-2006 05:06 am (UTC)
I don't envy you one bit, but at least you don't have cramps to go along with that awful feeling. :\
19th-Dec-2006 05:49 am (UTC)
I have suffered from depression for several years - and that situation sounds quite familiar.
19th-Dec-2006 06:08 am (UTC)
Like some of your other posters, I have this too. Sometimes it's sparked by something incidental, sometimes it's out of the middle of nowhere.

"you can't really cry dust" sounds like part of a poem or song. It's a lovely image.
19th-Dec-2006 06:30 am (UTC)
Congratulations, you have PMS. Tomorrow you'll be bitchy, then you'll start craving chocolate.
19th-Dec-2006 08:31 pm (UTC)
Do you have depression in your family? Have you been diagnosed? Perhaps it's a hormonal flux, or lack of sunlight (that's what happens to me).

Thank God you don't have the period to go with it.

I hope it passes. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep, not really sure what it is; most times it's nothing, just a hormonal rain cloud passing though an otherwise clear day. The next day, I am rested and feeling fine.
20th-Dec-2006 01:10 am (UTC)

I hope you found some peace and were able to get some rest last night. I keep telling myself it's "tis the season" and remind myself on how much I hate the holidays right now. I know each of us is different. Have you had seasonal depression or do you feel that it's just a bit of down time and reflection? Is something more on your mind right now?

I can say I understand/relate because this is were I feel like I've been in the flipping flood gates this past week too.

I send you peace, comfort and understanding.
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