Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

All I wanted was fish & chips, really!


It was time to pick up dinner before heading back to the loft. D wanted Subway, and I was craving fried fish - so Cap'n D's it was to be. I get to the counter and place my order to go, and begin waiting patiently for it to be ready. Behind me is the crotchetiest, most grizzled old bastard I'd ever had the misfortune to run into in my lifetime. He was exceptionally rude to the staff behind the counter which really raises my hackles and I stood there while they were bagging up my dinner and waiting to see how this was going to play out. The lady who was waiting on me got his order for him - to which he shot back "Well I don't want that one now, make it again!" I made eye contact with the lady, as if to say "Really, all I need is half a reason - you just give me a sign" but she reordered the decrepit old pigfucker's food and made it clear all she wanted was to get him served and out. I lingered for a few seconds and he sat down - so I left.

I stood in the door of the truck and watched through the windows as he stood again at the counter, clearly raising his voice and shaking his fist. D asked what the matter was and I replied "That old bastard in there is about to get his fucking ass kicked, that's what". I gave him the quick and the dirty with my eyes on ol' pigfucker, but D got paged to work and we had to leave.

We got home, and I tried to eat my dinner but couldn't. I told D I had to go back up there and apologize to those ladies, it was just something I had to do. So I did. I got back in the truck and drove up to the restaurant and walked in to the same smiling faces I was greeted by earlier. "Would you like to order, sir?" I explained that I had only been in a few minutes before, and she remembered me. I told her that I was there earlier in front of the rude old motherfucker that showed his ass. I came back because I know what it feels like when you're working and someone is there giving you shit over nothing, and because it's your job you cannot say anything, but I didn't work there and I had no excuse. So I apologized for not defending them against his rudeness, and to let them know that I would never again let an opportunity like that pass me by. I told them that they worked too damned hard to be insulted or humiliated by anyone for any reason, and that I wanted them to know this directly from me. They thanked me and couldn't believe I came all the way back there just for that, and their gratitude only made me feel worse - moreso when they informed me that the real sparks flew after I left.

Then I looked over into the dining room and saw him still sitting there, not a care in the world, just as smug as you please. He even looked over at me and had the audacity to nod his head in that affirmitive "how ya doing" kind of way. It was then that I said "Excuse me, ladies - I'll be RIGHT back" and started towards him. "Sir? SIR!" they called to me. I replied "Don't worry about it, ladies, I won't hurt him - I'm just going to scare him a little and teach him some manners."

He watched me walking towards his table, my eyes fixed on his and my anger visible. I grabbed the chair next to him and sat in it, turning directly to him and leaning in about 8 inches from his face. He stopped chewing and went motionless while I began.

"I just wanted to let you know that I was the man in line in front of you when you took it upon yourself to show your ass to these kind, hardworking ladies like you had any right to dare do such a thing. I couldn't eat my dinner because you fucking ruined it. I wanted you to know that I apologized to those ladies on your behalf for your completely inexcusable behavior, so whatever shame you feel for being such an asshole - and you should feel tremendous shame - that's mine, I own that. I'm burning your face into my memory, old man. If I ever see you again trying to pull this kind of shit on anyone, anywhere, ever, I give a fuck HOW old you are - I will kick your ass up and down whatever building we happen to be in. I just thought you deserved to know that. Enjoy what's left of the dinner that was made for your sorry ass by the ladies you just humiliated you sorry, pathetic, miserable bastard."

I got up to leave, having gotten no response but fear and a shocked look from him, walked back by the front counter to glance again the faces of the ladies who saw and heard everything, all of them beaming and fully vindicated, and said "Ladies, you have a phenominal evening. I'll see you again soon, I hope." They giggled and thanked me again, and told me to hurry back soon.
Tags: be the change you wish to see in the wor, bitchslaps
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