Last night's bonfire out in the country was some of the most fun I've had in ages. Met some cool people and made some new friends, and even made friends with the exceptionally nice penis of a hot little super-butch Italian soldier boy, much to the envy of all the other moes in attendance who aren't as bold as I am. Hey, opportunity knocked, so I answered the door. Opportunity knocked for him as well, I killed two birds with one stone - one being the first man to ever touch his bits before, the other being the first to introduce him to the fun that is Jungle Juice Platinum brand poppers. He was a lot of fun, I'm sure we'll see him at the next bonfire. I'd enjoy just hanging out and bullshitting with him, and if we get to burn shit up in the process, then mo' betta!
And I don't care what anyone says, those piña colada flavored jello shots should have been labelled "Satan's Asshole" flavor. That's all I'm sayin'.