Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

As Per The Request Of A Few Of You...

Many months ago, I made this list and people went nuts over it. Here it is again, reprinted in its entirety. I present to you:




Fuck the tree that killed the best part of Sonny & Cher.

Fuck men that legitimize the beating and raping of women with stupid statements like "The bitch had it coming".

Fuck people who discriminate based on weight.

Fuck the Middle East for fighting over a piece of land that no one has a FUCKING DEED TO.

Fuck this intangible, child murdering, virgin raping, deadbeat father sky fairy that people base their entire lives on because someone else decided the lie was legitimate, and fuck that dead Jew on a stick he has for a son.

Fuck any preacher who drives an expensive car.

Fuck the Spice Girls.

Fuck the Pope for breathing.

Fuck homophobes for having an opinion.

Fuck Enron for their greed.

Fuck people who bring young children into movie theaters - Hello, if you cannot find a babysitter, stay the fuck at home.

Fuck anyone at the front door who interrupts my busy conversion of oxygen to carbon dioxide to tell me about Jesus OR Jehovah.

Fuck me.

Fuck people who drink and drive.

Fuck stupid people, it's a damned shame that stupidity isn't painful.

Fuck people who bitch in baseless assertions.

Fuck your image.

Fuck computers that call your house and have the gall to put you on hold.

Fuck all of the people connected with daytime television.

Fuck the cowardly.

Fuck Shakira, if for no other reason than for copycatting Christina Skankilera - is there a lower depth of misery?

Fuck being sad and depressed and lonely and angry and having no outlet for frustration.

Fuck money for never being enough.

Fuck Liam Gallagher. Your father should have pulled out early.

Fuck pretention.

Fuck not taking a stand for something and not getting REAL loud now and then.

Fuck the spineless.

Fuck people who say "I Can't" instead of "I Won't".

Fuck anyone who makes fun of handicapped, overweight, mentally challenged, or otherwise disenfranchised people.

Fuck Fundamentalism.

Fuck being horny and not having a partner to have wild, nasty, hot monkey sex with.

Fuck the academy.

Fuck your ego.

Fuck melodrama.

Fuck Eiffel 65.

Fuck Jeff Buckley for going swimming in the Mississippi River.

Fuck people who steal the innocence from children.

Fuck anyone who harms animals, and fuck PETA. Cows, fish, and chicken are not animals - they're food. Fuck off and eat some organic granola with soy milk, you fucking hippie bastards.

Fuck Raspberry Pop Tarts for being packed full of yummy goodness.

Fuck people who start shit and then back off to watch it all go down.

Fuck all of you backstabbing bitches.

Fuck ths bullshit that you think is so important, NEWSFLASH!... It's just not.

Fuck people who can't take the hint.

Fuck people who are unkind to service personnel, especially in the foodservice industry.

Fuck being a victim.

Fuck people who get paid even though they don't earn their fucking jobs.

Fuck censorship.

Fuck guys in their 40's who divorced perfectly wonderful women to go off and pay some nobrain slut to pay them attention and appear as though they REALLY like them, and drive a Corvette. Nice car, sorry about your penis.

Fuck people who name children after alcohol brand names and cars.

Fuck yippee little dogs that can fit into a handbag and the sad bitches that own them.

MOTHERFUCK Mariah Carey.

Fuck Televangelism.

Fjuck Norwegian people.

Fuck parents who let televisions raise their children.

Fuck Jerry Springer - how stupid do you have to be to get elected Mayor and lose your job because you paid a hooker with a goddamned CHECK?!??!?!?!?

Fuck anyone who needs drugs to make them interesting. Life is tragic enough without an altered state of mind.

Fuck Ticketmaster.

Fuck Rush Limbaugh.

Fuck Abercrombie & Fitch, you lose IQ points wearing those clothes.

Fuck the Male dominated Pro-Life Movement. Tell you what, GUYS - next time YOU get cramps, I will personally buy the Midol. Man, do I HATE a stupid motherfucker. You make me ashamed of my own gender.

Fuck the Easy Way Out.

Fuck fashionable Buddhism.

Fuck Tommy Hilfiger.

Fuck Miss Cleo - betcha didn't see THAT coming, did ya Mommy?

Fuck Martha Stewart for needing to GET fucked. Fold all the napkins you want, you're still just a skank from Jersey with flat hair.

Fuck anyone who was connected with the movies "How High" and "Kung Pow", and anyone stupid enough to pay money to see that bullshit. Your complete lack of sensible taste and practicality merits the death penalty. Be glad I'M not in charge. Yet.

Fuck the Adoption Industry for failing children everywhere and being a disservice to approximately 65% of would-be parents.

Fuck the Amish.

Fuck Mick Jagger.

Fuck women who enable these assholes in epidemic proportions.

Fuck being a doormat.

Fuck not asking for what you want. How will you ever GET anything? All they can do is say "No", in which case the appropriate response is "Alright then, Fuck You!"

Fuck the Klan.

Fuck pro sports.

Fuck pseudo intellectuals.

Fuck thinking being in the military legitimizes you being an asshole.

Fuck being inconsistent.

Fuck Virginia, I ain't meeting the bitch.

Fuck loving your parents and liking them at the same time. Earn it, no one gets a free lunch - you said so yourself.

Fuck the Seminary.

Fuck Beyonce Knowles.

Fuck White Trash and White Power. Wait a minute, that's a mighty fine line.

Fuck being ashamed.

Fuck belittling some to make yourself feel better. If that applies to you, you are LESS than nothing.

Fuck insomnia.

Fuck the "Club Lifestyle".

Fuck whoever knows the cure and isn't saying.
Tags: bitchslaps
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