Air crash survivor: 'Why did God do this to me?' Clearly it's the hat, dude. I mean really - who can get away with a hat like that?
In Bush Administration news, Bush acknowledges secret prisons, but keeps mum on the WH dungeon room & what Jeff Gannon's big spam hammer tastes like - I suspect Rove & McClellan know plenty about that. Oh yeah, here's something to add to this whole Chimp-in-chief shit: Iraq speaker warns of nation's collapse, and Der Chimpenfuhrer is adding the Soviet Union to his arsenal of ridiculous comparisons. Nice. In related news, Rummy doing 'heckuva job'. Meanwhile, anyone know where Bin Laden is yet? How hard could it be to find the only motherfucker running around freely in Pakistan lugging around a goddamned dialysis machine? Condi Rice equates Iraq war critics to people who didn't want to free the slaves, because Uncle Tom's Secretary of State thinks there's a fair comparison here. Whomever said you can take the little black girl out of Mississippi, but you can't take her to the GOP because if you do she'll lose her GAT-damned mind was right. Speaking of the GOP collective citizenry, this just in: they're still more fucked up than a soup sandwich.
Evolution debate rises again in Ohio as several Ohioans sitting around the cracker fuck barrel spontaneously grow opposable thumbs; "OH SHIT!!" says West Virginia.
Disney/ABC insider tells conservative blogger that 9/11 film was intended to "blame Clinton". For FUCK'S SAKE, here we go again.
NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole. Someone bring me a 10mg Valium with a Jager chaser, I need a time out.