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Abstinence, Sex Shaming, Masturbation, and Killing that Shame & Ignorance in One Fell Swoop 
15th-Jun-2006 08:50 pm
Let me begin this by stating how completely opposed I am (and always have been) to absintence-only sex shaming. I call it sex shaming because that is exactly what it is. There is nothing scholarly about it - it is moral imposition at best, dangerously reckless subjugation at worst. Government sanctioning of abstinence-only sex shaming is not only a wholly asinine waste of money, time, and resources, it is equally ineffective in its goals - to say nothing of irresponsibly misleading. Teaching absinence-only does not work, and it's widely disputed as a means of being an effective and responsible addition to curricula. Everyone from doctors and health professionals to scientists, teachers, and people with good common sense have spoken against this kind of antiquated methodology. Fuck for chastity instead, that makes more sense.

First of all, you're never going to stop teenagers from fucking. Not ever. The reason is simple: it feels good. Once their innately natural biological urges kick in and the temptation to resist and the fear and nervousness is overshadowed by the opportunity to engage, they will continue fucking until it no longer feels good, then they'll switch to a new partner and the cycle will continue. That was the case with me, I started out early, and I never had the negative influence pressed on me that the moralists are now imposing on the younger generations as my parents are sex positive and it was never anything met with derision in discussions at home, if I had questions then they provided answers. Thankfully my parents come from the school of thought that believes if the child is old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to get an age appropriate answer. Kids need to have a healthy (albeit age appropriate) understanding of sexuality. Granted, my parents are an extreme, my mother has even given me straight porn to pass on to my hetero friends once she's through with it. "I know this is all lost on you, but surely you know someone who'll appreciate it." You go, Mama!

Adolescents need to be aware that there is absolutely nothing wrong with abstaining until such a time that you are ready, but that's the point - it cannot end there.  They need to be made aware of safe sex. There are things they need to know about the day that choice gets made and its repercussive effects. Younger people need a knowledge of STD's (more here). They need to know not only about safe sex but birth control, and they need to know about abortion. Moreover, that sexual responsibility is more important than pro-choice or pro-life. They need to be told that masturbation is the most self validating thing they can do, and encourage them to understand that it's not the same as sex - it's more like maintainance. There are two kinds of people who do not masturbate - those who do it, and those who lie about not doing it. Betty Dodson is one of the foremost authorities on this subject, and she's about as cool as fuck to boot. She's taught workshops on celebrating the body and freeing women from repression that she believes was instilled by the church. She makes the point that masturbation needs to be celebrated, and not allowed to create guilt. She admits that overcoming guilt is very difficult -- for men & women, especially when the guilt is instilled by the voices of their parents at an early age with the admonishments not to touch themselves "down there".

There are toys to play with (some even home-made for the folks with little to no pocket money), websites with erotic stories, informative stories and techniques, even web communities (NSFW). One site bills itself as the Ultimate Male Masturbation Page, that definitely deserves perusal.

Thank Darwin there's satire and people with a genuine sense of humor! Check out Iron Hymen and Sex Is For Fags!, they're hilarious.

I used to be much more of an avid masturbator, and I go through spells where I go for one or two weeks and then I'm jerking off multiple times a day.  I turned 30 and it started slacking off, but now and then I'm 13 again.  I love reading and talking about it, mainly because I enjoy learning other people's techniques and fantasies for what helps them get themselves off. I have no problem admitting I'm a shameless pervert, I celebrate it and let my pervert flag fly proudly.

Poll #748879 Self Love Is Love

How often do you masturbate?

What is the most times you've ever done it in a single day?

Have you ever done it in public?


Have you ever done it while driving?


Have you ever done it at work?


What is the best place you've ever masturbated?

What is the strangest place you've ever masturbated?

Do you have a favorite porn to watch when masturbating, and if so, what is it called?

(For the Laytees™) Are you able to ejaculate?


(For the Menses) I ejaculate into a towel laid across my stomach for wasy cleanup most times - Where do you ejaculate?

Favorite time: Morning, Afternoon, Night?

(For the Laytees™) Hands or toys?

(For the Menses) Are you cut or uncut?

Do you have a favorite method or technique? Describe please!

Do you use toys, and if so, what kind?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to crank up some porn and rub one out.
16th-Jun-2006 01:01 am (UTC)
Yay! First person in the pervert poll.

I swear masturbation is the only thing that kept me and my raging teenage hormones from getting pregnant.
16th-Jun-2006 01:26 am (UTC)
THANK GOD I didn't believe the masturbation part of what was drilled into my head....

drilled into my head..that almost sounded dirty
16th-Jun-2006 01:45 am (UTC)
Ow.. Owie... XD "Sex is for Fags"...


It's too bad I live in a red state.
16th-Jun-2006 02:03 am (UTC)
I discovered my privates - well, discovered playing with my privates - was, as Martha says, a good thing when I was four. It was very comforting. I did it at nap time. And bath time. I didn't think about God and Hell until Catechism. By then, I thought, well, shee-it, if I was going to be struck by lightning for touching what is mine, it would have happened sometime before grade school, and I was still breathing, so there aint nuthin wrong with pleasing yourself.

I sometimes laugh about this: If I am up in heaven, and I have to sit through being judged via watching a film of my life, and they get to all the scenes of me doing my thang (and other people's thangs) I will turn to the Supreme Being and say, "Uh... are we allowed to watch pornography here? I didn't think so" and "click" my film will be turned off.

Another scenario is watching the film in Heaven, turning to the Big Guy and saying, then why did you give me such a luscious woo woo, if you didn't want me (and others) enjoying it so much? I mean, come on... you know what I mean? I can't touch it, but only my husband can? Puh-lease... Doesn't that smack of chauvinistic indoctrinated bull-roar?
16th-Jun-2006 02:30 am (UTC)
absintence-only sex shaming (sex ed) is super Lamo!
16th-Jun-2006 03:01 am (UTC)
"I used to be much more of an avid masturbator, and I go through spells where I go for one or two weeks and then I'm jerking off multiple times a day."

I'm basically the same way. But I usually don't when I'm depressed...and lately I have been, so....
But while the guy I was seeing was in the hospital (two weeks) I probably did it ONE time. When he came back, I couldn't take anymore.....and I had to have sex maybe eight or nine times...and then STILL masturbate A LOT.
16th-Jun-2006 02:27 pm (UTC)
I find that sometimes I'll masturbate when theres 'real' sex available, just because when I do it myself it's all about me and I don't have to waste time telling someone what I want and hoping s/he'll get it right.
17th-Nov-2006 11:21 pm (UTC)
i found this post through one of your recent posts. people need to understand that we're animals. we may be more intelligent than other animals but we're still animals. and what do animals do? eat, sleep, reproduce. it's natural. and not educating teens about safe sex is more dangerous than promoting sex.
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