Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

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Beyond Doubt

I want to scream. I want to cry tears that I cannot seem to bring. I want to get the hell out of here and do something, do anything... I want to run away and forget everything I know about pain and suffering and grief and know only beauty. I want to look everyone in the face who doesn't feel what I feel from this man's music and the hole he has left in the heart of the world and grab them and shake them and scream at them "What is WRONG with you?"

The thing is this. Jeff Buckley has completely changed the way I feel about music. The way I hear things and interpret them. Jeff Buckley is the reason why I find so many things in the world of music so wrong and soulless. I find that I measure other music to his constantly. I cannot get safe space from his death and the losses I am weighted down with in the wake of his passing. To say I feel cheated is a spectacular understatement.

All of the music was his, and the cover songs he completely reinvented and made his own. The influences that stabbed him in the brain and made their way to his fingers; his throat - Nina Simone, Led Zeppelin, The Smiths, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Cocteau Twins, This Mortal Coil, MC5, Edith Piaf, and even his father Tim...

I finally got to see Everybody Here Wants You, the BBC produced documentary on Jeff that never aired in the States. If anyone wants a copy, I will give it to them on CD. Seriously, you need to see this.

I want to stand inside Sin-é and the St. Marks Church, I want to stand in the room in Woodstock where Grace was recorded and inside Arlene's Grocery. I want to lie on the floor of the house in Nashville where the demos for My Sweetheart The Drunk were recorded. I want to go to the Wolf River in Memphis and stand on the shore where he went wading, and to the foot of Beale Street where they found him on the riverbank. I want to cry for the death of the friend I never knew in person.
Jeff Buckley - 1966-1997
Tags: jeff buckley
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