I'm not sure what I'm doing. I want so badly to be able to have not a care in the world, to not worry about these things, and to just get enough safe space for myself that I can breathe clean air and feel content again. Go on about being myself and not this familiar stranger that lives in my skin and has hooks buried deep in my brain. I want to feel the water rush over my feet and cleanse what is left of my tattered soul. Have a cool wind lift me up into clouds of filigred lace and feel that mist dig into my flesh.