Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

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Saturday Morning

What a week I've had.

I'm very grateful that I've had the opportunity to spend the week with Damien at his house, just the two of us. I cannot describe just how amazing and wonderful this has been! Even in spite of my ailments and complaints about my teeth, (which are better or worse depending on how you look at it) I have had a better time and more fun sitting there with him doing absolutely nothing than any number of "fun" things we might have done.

I'm getting over that sadness that followed me around in my time without him, I've learned that time spent with him is a precious thing and that for as much as I want to be with him all of the time I know I cannot be. I'm still learning that I will be with him again soon enough - most likely in a few hours as we are seldom separated from one another for longer than that - and it makes seeing him that much more special. I get the opportunity to miss him in my time away from him, and this makes meeting up with him again an altogether electric experience.

I've calmed down so much lately. I feel very centered and closer to being complete. I feel purposeful and not aimless as I always have until now. I've never imagined a future, and now I cannot imagine anything that doesn't include him in it!

There is this feeling I carry with me all of the time when I think of him. It is like I'm gliding on my back over the ocean, hovering just above the water's surface, with my arms outstretched and my fingers trailing through the water. And the sky is all soft and pastels, as if it were carved out of colored chalk, and the water is warm and inviting, and I just float down into the belly of my own contentedness.
Tags: damien
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