Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

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Two more weeks and I get to not only see Jennifer again, but I get to introduce her to Damien. He came up to see me at work last night, and Renea and Andrew were here as well hanging out and what not. Every opportunity I got I would look over into his sweet face when he wasn't looking at me, just to study him and make sure that every feature he has would be burned into my memory. That way I could wake up and lie there for a few moments until I got my bearings and have a focus to remind me why my life is so good right now.

I woke up this morning thinking how much better this place (work) would be if we had a shower built in somewhere. I was also thinking how very soon we're going to the Gay Pride march, which is just for fun because I do not believe in the notion of Gay Pride - but that's neither here nor there. Suffice it to say that I am only proud of the things in my life that I've made happen and not the things that just "Are". I'm not proud of being a man or of being white, I just happen to BE those things - being gay is just another thing. Every time I hear some white supremacist spouting off about "White Power", I get disgusted and think "Dude - you need to get fucked in the ass really REALLY hard just one good time and you'll see the error of your ways." That having been said, I'm sincerely looking forward to the season premiere of Oz. Few things please me more than a prison show where an Aryan skinhead type gets porked in the waz against his own will. Not that I'm advocating rape on any level, but the mere idea of this is what I consider "Acceptable Collateral Damage", you know what I'm saying?

Then July 4th rolls around, and before you know it - September 11th, 2002. How are we as a country - as a planet - going to contend with the first anniversary of that? I want to have another candlelight vigil at the Riverwalk again this year. My friends and I last year had one there on the Friday following the 11th, the 15th I think. It was to be just a few people, I asked the news channel across the street to come and plug it to get the word out, so they came down and interviewed me for the 5:00 news and by 6:00 PM there were upwards of 250 people there, all hugging and crying and singing and praying and mourning a collective loss. It felt like what home is supposed to feel like. It made me feel transcendental in a way, I still felt horrific grief - but somehow I gained a sense of faith in humanity because so many people in my own community came together and shared something profoundly personal.

I'd like to do this again, but I want to spend a bit more time getting it organized and letting people know. It would be great to have an ocean of people from this town come together for something like this. Maybe I can get the station involved in some way to sponsor it or something.

Like I always say to those closest to me - I'm never without a cause, and I know for a fact that one person makes a difference.

Anyone interested in pitching in or giving me an idea to help pull this off is welcome to post a reply. I expect you all to be there as well!
Tags: damien, jennifer nettles
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