"Hey Mistuh DJ, put on a wecowd, I wanna dance wif my baby...UH! UH! UH!" ::pelvic thrust::
"Is my chili as good as Mommy's?"
"No, it's bettuh. (looking over at Maggie, then back to me) ..I mean, no, it's not as good. I mean, yes - wait a minute, I can't weemembuh."
"Can you explain why you've had such a bad day at school today?"
"I would, but I can't weemembuh."
"Oh please, man! You remember that I was mean two years ago because I put the cat outside, but you don't remember something you did two hours ago?"
"Cole, you need to do better than that. What happened today?"
(emphatically, as though this were just base logic) "You know what? I fink dat because it's so hot outside,, da heat has fwied my bwain, and so I cannot tell you because I actuawwy CAN'T weemembuh."
"Kiss me, boyfriend."
"HELL no - I'm wunnin' away fwom you!"
"Illeigh said she saw a snake by the swings at the pike. But then again, she lies moye than anyone I know."
"Is it time foye the bitches to come in and eat?"
"Cole, you cleaned up your room, right?"
"Nope, you aye wong."
"Mommy, Nafen said 'Mudduhfuckuw' again."
::blank stare:: "He did? Okay then, let's hope he doesn't say that again."
"But he did say 'Mudduhfuckuw', Mommy."
"Okay, honey - I believe you."
"He weally did say it, he said 'Mudduhfuckuw'. I pwomise."
::stern look:: "Cole, that's enough."
(from the living room) "MUTHA FUCKAH!!"
::supressing a giggle:: "MOMMY!!"
::accusatory tone, defiant & emphatic:: "Bullsit - that was no 'poot', Nayfen - YOU FAHYTED. Now go wipe."