Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

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So.

I have a lot of housecleaning and laundry to do today. I've got to begin planning. I want to begin a new exercise regimen, something I'll stick to this time with a few variables. I have to come up with something that I can be vigilant about, something that will also include yoga. I need to get an idea from my fellow bikers about days, times, and places we're going to set aside to go biking on warm days to get ready for Spring, because I'm planning on biking every day I can in Spring. I have six months until Pride, and this Summer I want to hit my target weight and body shape by then.

I have to give myself a haircut today and trim my beard. I have to fix the fence in the backyard where the puppy keeps getting out. I have to clean up in both the front and backyards. I want to get the house put in order before lunchtime so I can go grocery shopping while Avery is taking her afternoon nap, but technically I can go whenever. I've got to make a menu for this week's meals, and a coresponding list of stuff I need from the store.

I woke up this morning in a fantastic mood, I'm excited about being challenged and tasking myself with so many things - lots of other stuff I've not even mentioned yet - and I'm starting to feel my old energy coming back.

I've made up my mind that I'm not going to allow negative energy to wear me down like it did so often last year. I'm blaming that on my own lack of willpower in those situations, and I'm renouncing that mindset that got me as down as it did. I feel the strength of possibility now like I haven't in a very long time. I feel the need to be outside more, to do more, to be more.

I used to be that man that would see an amazing patch of sky at sunset and make everyone in the house come outside to look, because if you don't take notice of the beauty when it presents itself then you kill it like it never happened in the first place. I'm starting to feel like him again, and interpreting my life and others around me as I did when I was that man. Years ago, when it was in theaters after its initial release, my mama took me to see The Color Purple. I remember the line towards the end when Shug (the gorgeous, bewitching Margaret Avery) and Celie (Whoopi Goldberg) are in the field talking when Shug says to Celie "I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it." I remember that moment in all its simpleness, and how it must have touched me in such a way that I thought on some level of how I wanted to be like that, someone who notices the beauty in spite of the ugly long enough to point it out to someone else, maybe someone who really needs the contrast. I've lost sight of that because life has gotten in the way, but I'm coming back to it.

Speaking of The Color Purple, I really didn't like that book. I love and adore Alice Walker, but that book - though truly amazing in its own right, didn't have the impact on me that the film did. In part because it was written so singularly, as Celie's diary. Celie decided all of the characters' lives, so no one speaks for themselves. The characters in the story are all so fierce and so huge and rich that I always thought of it as a shame that they had no voice for themselves. Then the movie gives them all life. It is filmed so beautifully that it gives you a great life lesson, that in order to truly appreciate one color, you must have other ones in view as well. Otherwise, you have no basis for comparison.

Alright. First task of the day is to get Avery in the bath, as she has somehow managed to paint her entire right hand and wrist with a marker. I'm really scared to go into her room where this happened, lest I discover she's also painted the walls or the carpet. What's done is done though, all that matters is what is left to do.
Tags: films, the color purple
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