Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

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Today, I hate even the mere idea of God.

Yesterday while in Atlanta I got a call on from Christi on the cellphone. "Tarah just called me, she's flying into Atlanta at 12:50 on Air Tran. Lynn is on life support, I don't know for how long now, but they've decided that it's time. I know you're there, and I'm on my way up to the airport in just a few minutes." All I remember saying is "I'll meet you in the same place at the airport terminal." I walked into Brian's apartment and sat down, Damien asked me what we needed to do and I told him I wasn't sure just yet. I felt like I'd just gotten the shit kicked out of me.

Tarah got off the plane all smiles and open arms, just to prove to us that she was okay. Like there was even a question, it is her way. She will process this in her own time, but for now there's work to be done. After we hugged our hellos and introduced her to Damien, we started walking towards the train station. I reached for her hand and once she took it and held it she began to explain what she knew up until that point. Christi and I listened as she recounted what happened, and we got on the train. After a short train ride, Damien & I got the two of them to the exit in the station, and I told Tarah I'd see her at home either this evening or tomorrow.

I got down to the platform waiting on the train and thought aloud that I did good, I didn't cry in front of her. I started remembering something Lynn said to me years ago while I was either visiting their house or picking Tarah up to go who knows where, probably somewhere we never should have been. I called out to Tarah (whose name I've always pronounced "Terrah') to hurry the hell up, when Lynn called out to her as well, pronouncing her name different altogether. She called her "Taaarah", with an A sound like when you stick your tongue out for the doctor. I looked at her and said "Gone With The Wind?" Lynn just looked back at me with her sweet face, seldom without a smile, and grinned at me. Now that I think about it, in all the years I've known her I can seldom remember Lynn ever speaking anything without a smile on her face while she was doing it.

Tarah called me close to 10:30 last night. "Hey darlin', it's Tarah. I just wanted to let you know that she's gone..." We talked for about 20 minutes or so, and I told her to get some rest and that I'd talk to/see her tomorrow.

I'm about to get a shower and head over to the house. Send us all good energy today, please.
Tags: grief, lynn
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