"I have decided to run for president. My lone issue is outlawing those little postcards that fall out of magazines while you are trying to read them."
"Will all 130,000 people in town for the Mega Fest 2004 Christian worship celebration stay around for Gay Pride this weekend?"
"How does Ralph Nader make a living? Are the Republicans paying him?"
"Every election year, our overextended and bail-out-by-filing-bankruptcy neighbor places Republican campaign signs in his front yard. Given the huge deficits of the past few GOP presidents, I finally see the correlation."