Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

Yeah, pretty much just as I figured

New York, NY

  • 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

  • 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

  • 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

  • 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

  • 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

  • 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

  • 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

  • 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!

  • 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

  • 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

  • 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!

  • 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

  • 8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

  • 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

  • 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

  • 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

  • 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

  • 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

  • 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

  • 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

  • 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

  • 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

  • 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans

  • 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

  • 10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy

  • 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata

  • 11:20 PM 2nd Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult

  • 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

  • 11:35 PM Blame Clinton

  • 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

  • 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself, directed by Mel Gibson.

  • 12: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord


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