Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

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Don't think about this for too long or blood will fly out of your nose...

A Questionnaire For All You Heterosexuals
Because I care about you and I want you really think about this lifestyle and its consequences...

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?
4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?
6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did he or she react?
7. Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your lifestyle?
8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can’t you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?
9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they’d face?
10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
11. With all the societal support marriage receives, why is the divorce rate 50%?
12. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
13. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
14. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?
15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
16. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop your natural healthy homosexual potential?
17. There seems to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

- Copy & repost at will -


I don't know if everyone on my friends list has heard the Sklar Brothers "Chopper Four" bit, if you haven't let me know and I'll send you the zip file. It's priceless. Speaking of which, Chopper Four crashed into a rooftop in Brooklyn yesterday, and Chopper Four was the first on the scene - COINCIDENCE?? Go Chopper Four!!

Chopper Four... It's like Jesus with a propeller...
Chopper Four... With airborne capabilities...
Chopper Four... With a self propelling... propeller!!
Chopper Four... We opened fire on Newschannel Seven's wussy newsvan...
Chopper Four was the first on the scene to bring you the bloody photos...
Chopper Four mysteriously went down in the Hudson river... AND CHOPPER FOUR WAS THE FIRST ON THE SCENE!! COINCIDENCE?? GO CHOPPER FOUR!!
Chopper Four... The way we see it, we're twice as good as Chopper Two...
Chopper Four... Channel Seven has a van, but can it fly? Can it CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-Chopper Four...
Soon the entire news broadcast will be done from inside of Chopper Four!

  • News: Chopper Four...
  • Sports: Chopper Four...
  • Weather: Chopper Four...
  • Traffic: Traffic oddly enough will still be done from the studio...


But for everything else, it's Chopper Four...
Who's your news source? Chopper Four...
Who's your eye in the sky? Chopper Four...
Who shot Tupac Shakur? Chopper Four...
Who can turn the world on with a smile? Mary Tyler Moore...
Who's head is soaked? Chopper Four!!
Screw you! Chopper Four!!
And your sister!! Chopper Four!!
Para totos su notesias? EL CHOPPER QUATRO....
Tags: chopper 4, heterosexual questionnaire
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