Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

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It's over...

It's official, Maggie and Nathan are getting divorced. Many tears have been shed from all of us in the past several days, and more will come I'm sure. I've not said anything about it until now because I've been sorting out my own feelings about it, which at this point are pretty much resolved. I love him, but I'm angry that he made all of this happen. I'm not going into details about it, so don't ask. The details are no one else's business anyway.

Tonight, before he left the house to go and stay at his mother's place, they sat Cole down and told him. At first Cole insisted that they were absolutely not getting divorced. Then he was defiant about it, as though he did not accept that they were going to split up. Then he cried a bit and they asked him to tell them how he was feeling and what he was thinking. He immediately fired back his anger at both of them, for being mean to each other and conversely for not being nicer to each other. Then he decided he just didn't wish to discuss it any more with them.

He came out into the living room where Avery and I were and curled up in my lap and I held him for a few minutes. I told him I was sorry if he was upset, or angry, or if his feelings were hurt and gave him lots of hugs and kisses. I told him that no matter what we all loved him and that if he wanted to talk about it at all that he could - and if he didn't, then that was fine also. We watched Harry & The Hendersons and then put them both to bed. Maggie asked Cole if he was okay, and he said "yes". She asked him to promise that he was okay, and he said "no". Considering everything that is happening right now, I think he's handling it remarkably well. He's a very special little boy.

We're all going to be just fine, and as a matter of fact things are going to be a lot better. And just like the rest of life, our daily fears and worries and grievances will be replaced with all new ones soon enough. It'll be nice though not having a living breathing magnet for disappointment getting in the way of your daily accomplishments, While I stress again that I do love Nathan very much, I've got more than enough reasons to be pissed off at him. And I wasn't even married to him.

Life goes on. If anyone knows and understands that, it's us.

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