Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith

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I think I have cancer of the perspective.

I was reading my Friends journal page and catching up on some comments and stuff and I have to say I'm both incredulously disappointed and completely horrified by someone and his behavior/actions. This deeply saddens me. They say that if you have no expectations of people then they cannot disappoint you. All I ever expect from my friends is that they make a concerted effort to better themselves and never deliberately hurt anyone that doesn't deserve it. I could never have imagined that when he was so much younger and kinder that he'd become as self indulgent, shallow, cowardly, and out of step with reality as he is. I took this kid under my wing and defended him over and over, at one point daring people to say something negative to him because I knew he wouldn't defend himself and I'd be damned if I were going to let someone be victimized when they needed to be protected. Now, apparently, that very thing is the cardinal sin.

I feel like nothing I knew as real is real anymore. Nothing is sacred, everything is disposable. People use a bullshit excuse for everything and if you say it enough times you just might believe it is true.

I wonder how you can spend that much energy writing out the imaginary way that things happened and not consider how much of it is pretend. And I'm supposed to take you serouisly and believe that you're sincere... Well I'm sorry, but that's not for me. On second thought, I'm not sorry because I'm guilty of nothing here but misjudgment.

So in a nutshell, fuck you for breaking my heart, Charlie - but I mean it with love. You figure it out.
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