August 18th, 2011

Max

On Gratitude

Last night I got some very sad and tragic family news. I will not divulge details, but this affects us all and it is heartbreaking. I needed to calm myself down from being upset about it, so I went to the pool so I could swim my daily laps and work some frustration out. It was 111°F today. I don't mind the heat, in fact I like it - but while stretching out my back in the pool and standing waist deep in the water dripping wet, a nice cooling breeze enveloped me like a hug, and I thought of my dear Shane and how that happened in 100°F heat at his graveside service - and it felt like a final hug from him. I stretched all of my limbs and thanked the Earth for that momentary gift.

I got out to dry off and the sun felt amazing on my back. I sat there in my personal oasis and thought of my beloved Damien, and how he makes everything in my universe right for me without even trying. He can come home when I'm having the worst day and the mere sound of his key in the lock can set everything okay and I feel safe, and free from any harm. I thanked the universe for him and our life together that we have worked so hard for.

Walking home from the pool I caught the scent of honeysuckle, and I stopped, closed my eyes, and breathed it in so deeply I could taste it. I was so grateful for that sense memory and the reminder of what is possible when you stop for a minute and switch gears to humility.

I'm wrapped in love, all the time, and this is how I honor that.