July 3rd, 2011

Snarktastic

OH... MY... GAY...

That's what Ozzy calls the appropriate response to 'the gayest thing you've ever heard': OH... MY... GAY.... I was inspired to write this after Best Beloved comes sashaying out of the bathroom, naked, to lip sync to Cher before showering so I'd laugh - he does something different at least 5 times a day just to make me crack up, up to and including making a damned fool of himself.

This was said a few days ago and I'd forgotten about it because it's so gay I blacked out. D playing Cher in the shower triggered the memory, so I am sharing it with you. If you add jazz hands and say *S*P*A*R*K*L*E*S*, rainbows will shoot out of your fingertips and the power of your gay can be seen from space. You might even make Liberace look butch by comparison, and create the new gender identity. Or a Superhomohero, you decide.

So this guy I know was telling me about meeting Chaz Bono and the two of them posing arm in arm for a photo-op. Then he said it, and the power of the gay was so strong I immediately smelled leather, poppers, envisioned a drag queen with fire batons, and heard "OONCH OONCH OONCH OONCH" in the background somewhere. He actually said "...and I was all OMG, I just touched something that came out of Cher's vajayjay!"

Yeah. I couldn't make that shit up.