January 24th, 2007

The Bible Says "God Hates Fags"!

An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us, let's help get their message out!

They are called Love God's Way Ministries, led by the decidedly creepy cubbish Donnie Davies, self appointed spokesperson for the Fuhrer that is God. Learn exciting new acronyms like C.H.O.P.S., which stands for "CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE!" Parents can learn a great deal from this informative and realistic site as well, such as which music to shield their impressionable young children from as it comes from gay bands. I myself, a hopelessly bent pickle-smoker, can attest to the power of a gay band's influence. Had I never heard Ravi Shankar, DMX, Ghostface Killa, The Doors, Metallica, or Jay-Z, I might never have developed into the filthy faggot I am hopelessly consigned to flame for all eternity for being, but I accept that this is also another shining example of Jesus' love too! Seriously, I know that hearing "Love Her Madly" by The Doors is what made me predisposed towards indiscriminate three-ways and that twitchy feeling I get in my no-no place every time I see a bathroom stall with a decent sized hole cut out of it. I hear "Niggaz Done Started Something" by DMX and I lose all self control... MUST! FUCK! ASS!

Brother Donnie shares some very interesting philosophies also! Take, for instance, his love and admiration of Oscar Wilde as stated in his mission:
Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I'm not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.
What a sweet and well reasoned thing to say!

Meet Brother Donnie,
Reformed Fag-cum-Minister *giggle*

He even has an exciting band called Evening Service! Now remember, they don't want to be labeled a 'Christian band', although their faith is a big inspiration! They even have an exciting new song out called "The Bible Says (God Hates Fags)"! Isn't that catchy and oh-so-thoughtful? Goodness gracious, I just want to cry everytime I hear it!

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What's that, you say? A VIDEO IS OUT FOR THE SONG??? OH MY WORD! See for yourself, saints & sinners alike! Make sure you tell all your little friends about this post - link to me here and help me raise awareness of this important and well-intended work that Brother Donnie and his 'friends' are doing! And remember, kids - Jesus loves you, but DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!


This Is What You'll Be Posting:

An exciting new Ex-Gay ministry has befallen us,
let's help get their message out!

Read jesus_h_biscuit's post here for more info!

Hat tips to Jesus General, the last true heterosexual Christian patriot (and former giver of the best reach around EVAR), and to my beloved Pam for leading me to this path of righteousness. Now if you'll excuse me, I must find my poppers and Crisco...

Bill Donohue of the Catholic League strikes again!

Dakota Fanning: "I'm only 12 years old and I get it, you should be ashamed of yourself."
At a festival that features several films with sexual content, including full male nudity and a documentary about bestiality, a Southern Gothic tale that includes the rape of a young girl is causing the biggest stir.

"Hounddog" is the story of Lewellen, a girl played by 12-year-old Dakota Fanning, who is growing up in the 1960s South. She is a free-spirit obsessed with Elvis Presley and has little supervision by her abusive father and alcoholic grandmother.

Even before the first screening of "Hounddog" at the Sundance Film Festival this week, a Christian film critic, citing Fanning's age, decried the movie as child abuse, and Roman Catholic activist Bill Donohue called for a federal investigation.


"It's not a rape movie," Fanning said Tuesday. "That's not even the point of the film."

"It's not really happening," Fanning said of a rape. "It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything. Cody and Isabelle aren't going through anything, their characters are."

"And for me, when it's done it's done,"
she said. "I don't even think about it anymore."

Jump The Shark!

Jump The Shark - a term to describe a moment when somethin that was once great has reached a point where it will now decline in quality and popularity.

What part of pop culture Jumped The Shark for you? Any idea what I'm talking about? Find out what Jump The Shark means here on Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia, and on the official website.

So tell me in comments where you thought something jumped a shark - film, television, music, art, whatever. I'll start with television.

AHEM: Growing Pains jumped the shark when Mike Seaver decided to become a teacher and stop being a hot, teenage fuck-up.

Here it goes...

A friend of mine just sent me a very kind email stating that they were removing my blog from their friend's list as I am way too negative in my posts and there is an issue with that. I responded to this email immediately and told them that I do not begrudge them one bit for it - if anything, you SHOULD unfriend me if the things I post bother you that much. I have no malice or ill will, and we still share a mutual respect for one another.


Let me just say this again, to clear up any confusion that may arise.

  1. My blog, my rules, and I will continue to speak my mind as I choose, uncensored, and without apology.
  2. I realize I'm a bit hard to take now and then, but I'm the same in real life - ask anyone that really knows me - it ain't for show.
  3. I don't begrudge anyone who wishes to cease reading this blog, it is and will always be a drama-free-defriending zone. You owe me nothing and I owe you nothing.
  4. I'm fine with my choices, I put thought into making them, and that's just how it is.
Comment only if you want to make a point, but please - don't offer praise and fawning about this or about me because I don't need or want it. Just do your thing, if it doesn't include reading my blog, then by all means - STOP. See there, it's real simple. There's always email and instant messages if you want to talk to me or pick my brain about anything.

Some things just aren't worth the fuss or the energy it takes to be offended or upset - know what your limits are, just like this person did. I support a person's right to choose NOT to read these very words you're reading now.

So there you have it.