November 12th, 2006

What are we fighting for?

I've been doing considerable thinking on the subject of marriage equality lately, and I'm coming to believe that I no longer support the idea - all sarcasm aside. Not for the reasons most people do, but for something bigger. It is not that I think that we gay folks don't deserve the same legal rights as our take-it-all-for-granted heterosexual counterparts, not at all. Here's the thing - I don't want to model myself after straight people on the issue of marriage, and it's much more than histrionics or semantics. Marriage in this country is not AT ALL what has been used as a club to beat us with, which is the entire basis for my argument. Marriage does not equal love, it equals Britney Spears. I could stop here, but unlike that cunt I go the extra mile. And before you ask, yes - I'm fucking bitter. I re-read a previous post I'd made back in May, and it was the catalyst for this.

Consider the initial facts. The divorce rate in this country (as of 2005) is 52%, a ratio of marriages to divorces is 2 to 1 give or take. Roughly half end in divorce, the other in death. What the fucking hell is so sanctimonious about that? Anyone? Kiss my motherfucking ass, but I think I'm better than that. I think that a 48% rate of success is NOTHING to strive for or model oneself after, it barely passes as mediocrity and that's just fucking ridiculous. The vast majority of the people screaming about the sanctity of marriage not ONLY have no clue what that even means, but they're either products of the statistics or they're the ones creating them. It's tantamount to MEN having the say in a woman's reproductive rights, which is absolutely insane to me. Let me be clear on that issue before I go any further with the current one - I am pro-choice. I'm a male, ergo I logically default to pro-choice. If you're a woman and you choose not to have an abortion, YOU ARE pro-choice. If you're a man and therefore have no ovaries, JUST SHUT THE GODAMNED HELL UP. There is NO SUCH THING as pro-abortion, it is FAR from an easy choice, and unless you're faced with it you have NO idea what the fuck you're talking about. Women don't have abortions so that straight, fundamentalist Christian men can have something to negate later, contrary to popular belief. If you consider yourself pro-life, go to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC and rather than holding up placards of supposedly aborted fetuses, use pictures of soldiers' coffins exported from Iraq. Put your goddamned money where your mouths are you vapid, microcephalic, Jesus pimping, cousin fucking, tampon sucking whores. Find another Terri Schiavo to exploit and fuck right off, asshole. I'm idling at acerbic here, just so you know.

Argue semantics with me all day long, that's kind of the point. If the argument from the opposition is all about religious sanctification and idealism, and that works within the majority of the state and federal governments as a means for giving carte blanche to discrimination, then fine. Whine, complain, be victimized, and keep beating the same dead horses until insanity sets in. OR, realize that the past/current emphasis on marriage equality has become the gay rights' equivalent of 'stay the course'. It isn't up to the opposition to stoke positive change. Equality is a nice idea, but the practicality of seeing it to fruition is almost impossible - at least on any truly beneficial scale. Religious conjecture dictates the majority rules of thought (or lack thereof).

The differences between various legal arrangements have little to do with the overall mindset of the status quo, and that's most of the problem. It's not changing the way THEY think, it's changing the way WE think. They'll ignore proof - any suggestion of it - in favor of faulted logic and mythical superstition. Broken down further, while some cities and states offer Domestic Partnership benefits and Vermont’s Civil Unions certainly guarantees more benefits than any other domestic partnership program to date, these systems still fall short of Civil Marriage. Only Civil Marriage can truly give gay and lesbian couples all the protections afforded by the Federal and individual state governments and ensure equality in the eyes of the law:

Promotes a
Promotes a SEPARATE AND UNEQUAL system.
Opposite-sex couples
enjoy full EQUALITY.
Society does
not view the commitment of domestic partnerships nearly the same as
Same-sex love stigmatized as couples are classified by the state
as distinctly different.
Partners are supported
and applauded for committing themselves to their mate.
Society does
not view the commitment of domestic partnerships nearly the same as
Same-sex love stigmatized as couples are classified by the state
as distinctly different.
Partners are supported
and applauded for committing themselves to their mate.
Partners register
and are not counted as legal partners in almost every state but 3.
Partners in a "certified" “civil union”.
Partners in a “sanctified” "marriage".
to non-married couples in certain cities and states; some depend on
Currently available only in Vermont.
Available to opposite-sex
couples in all 50 states.
A couple with
D.P. status in New York City will lose all rights and protections if
they move to Cleveland, Little Rock, or Dallas. Also, if one partner,
whose company offers D.P. benefits, changes his/her employer, the couple
is no longer covered.
Not portable to other states. All benefits & legal protections
lost if couple moves out of state.
Portable throughout
all 50 states.
receive a handful of rights and responsibilities and vary from place
to place, given that each benefits program is unique.
Couples receive c. 300 state rights, but none of the 1,049 Federal
rights, incl. immigration, social security spousal benefits, etc.
Couple receives all
state PLUS ALL Federal legal rights and responsibilities.
Same-sex couple applying for
D.P. must prove the relationship by showing legal documents, bank statements,
deeds/leases or shared bills.
Legal rights and protections
such as adoptions and medical decisions can still be contested, forcing
D.P. couples to “jump through legal hoops.”
Employees pay for coverage
with post-tax dollars, and then must pay taxes on employers' share
of payment for benefits as added income.

Do any of the institutions available to gay people trump DOMA? No, they don't. Therefore equality in this case is a pipe dream. Families, statistically speaking (in particular those including children), are a lot more fundamentally similar across the board regardless of sexuality. I personally think the biggest differences are in the obvious. The only real threat to marriage is divorce, and the people with the highest rates for divorce are - you guessed it - BORN-AGAIN, EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS! The contradictions are stunning, but at least the hypocrisy is consistent. It comes down to politics in the end though - it always does. Partisan politics? Not really (read: Clinton & DOMA). But it IS mostly the Conservatives who wave these flags and they're the ones in the least position to do so. Of course, they all have to get royally fucked before the tide begins to turn.

So again, I revert to the revised Gay Agenda. If they want to make it about the label, help them by doing what they do best - turn that label into absolute shit. It's the only chance there is realistically speaking for equality.
1. Gay men and lesbians should marry one another, and extol each other every tangible and intangible benefit the institution provides. They cannot stop gay marriage as long as gays are marrying. If you are gay and single without a desire to marry, marry a homosexual of the opposite sex anyway, and donate any marriage credits the government may offer to any gay organization seeking to destroy heterosexual norms.

2. Once benefits are secured, divorce. Wreck the sanctity of the institution by driving up the divorce rates from the current 52% to at least 80%.

3. Remember 52% of marriages end in divorce, the remaining 48% in death. There's nothing sanctimonious about that. Demand the institution and then wreck it. James Dobson was right about our evil intentions. We just plan to be quicker than he thought.
Once again, I say REVOLUTION.

Agree with me or not, don't ask me for permission to link to this - just do it.

DISCLAIMER: No marriages of any kind were threatened, destroyed, incinerated, maimed, harassed, harmed, or otherwise negated in any form within the conception, composition, execution, or completion of this post.

God Save THE Queen!

Oh, how I love a bitter, shoot-from-the-hip old queen who rules everything and therefore can get away with this kind of stuff:
Elton John: Religion creates ‘hateful lemmings’

Singer says organized religion encourages hatred of gays
LONDON - Organized religion fuels anti-gay discrimination and other forms of bias, pop star Elton John said in an interview published Saturday.

“I think religion has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people,” John said in the Observer newspaper’s Music Monthly Magazine. “Religion promotes the hatred and spite against gays.”

“But there are so many people I know who are gay and love their religion,” he said. “From my point of view, I would ban religion completely. Organized religion doesn’t seem to work. It turns people into really hateful lemmings and it’s not really compassionate.”



I Bob Cesca!
Time For A Big Ol' Cup Of 'Shut The FUCK Up'

Last week, I described a nightmare scenario in which the Republicans won the midterm prompting the president, high on mandate juice, to form the Department of Shut The Fuck Up, headed by a sock puppet named Secretary Fiddlesticks. ()

Now that the Democrats have taken back the Congress and 51+ percent of America finally has a voice in government again, I think it's time to seriously let fly. So at the risk of sounding contentious in this all-too-genuine era (several days) of bipartisanship, here now is a roll call of people who must officially shut the fuck up.

1) Republican trolls who wrap up their anonymous and incomprehensible criticisms of progressives with the phrase, "and that's why your party never wins," need to shut the fuck up.



I Sam Seder too!

Watch the whole thing, seriously. Commit it to memory.

SEDER: "Listen, as far as the war on Christmas goes, I feel like we should be waging a war on Christmas. I mean, I believe that Christmas, it's almost proven that Christmas has nuclear weapons, can be an imminent threat to this country, that they have operative ties with terrorists and I believe that we should sacrifice thousands of American lives in pursuit of this war on Christmas. And hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money."

The War on Christmas Smackdown


See also: Gibson shuts down Boston over Christmas wars and threatens lawsuit. Stupid cock knocker.

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Thanksgiving Turkey

In case anyone missed it before or forgot about it, here's the link to my roasted turkey recipe that I use for Thanksgiving. Many of you mentioned an interest and someone emailed asking me for it, so here it is again.

If you tried it, let me know how it turned out!