October 5th, 2006

You might be a Republican.

Are you a Republican?
by Larry C Johnson

I once considered myself a Republican. In light of the record of the Bush Administration and the Republican controlled congress, I can no longer claim to be a Republican. Now we have George “AWOL” Bush and his sidekick, Dick “Five-Deferment” Cheney calling Democrats who question their failed Iraq strategy, “cut and runners”.

Meet Tammy Duckworth, Democratic candidate for Congress from Illinois and combat veteran. Tammy lost both legs in a helicopter crash. Hearing the charge that she wanted to cut and run, Tammy said:

"Well, I didn't cut and run, Mr. President. Like so many others, I proudly fought and sacrificed,; Duckworth said. "My helicopter was shot down long after you proclaimed 'mission accomplished."

Ask yourself the following questions and decide, “Are you a Republican?” (and my apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

If you enjoy shoplifting while working at the White House, you might be a Republican.
You may not recognize Claude Allen's name, but you've probably seen his face in photos, a little off to the side, a few steps away from the president. As George W. Bush's top domestic-policy adviser, Allen stuck close to the boss. He was Bush's frequent companion on Air Force One, and helped stage-manage issues like Social Security and education. A born-again Christian (his wife home-schools their four kids) and credentialed conservative (he got his start as an aide to Sen. Jesse Helms), the 45-year-old lawyer was regarded as a man on his way up in Republican politics. Party leaders, always on the lookout for conservative black candidates, pegged Allen as a future congressman or senator. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11786648/site/newsweek/)

(Note: Allen pled guilty in September 2006-- http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/04/AR2006080400919.html)
If you enjoy soliciting teenagers and children for sex over the internet, you might be a Republican:
Congressman Mark Foley. Republican Rep. Mark Foley resigned yesterday after the exposure of several sexually suggestive messages he sent to underage boys. Mr. Foley, a Florida Republican and chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children Caucus, led efforts to overhaul sex-offender laws, apologized in a brief statement that did not mention the electronic correspondence with the former congressional pages. (http://washingtontimes.com/national/20060930-010821-5764r.htm)

Randall Casseday. Metropolitan Police today charged the director of human resources at The Washington Times with one count of attempting to entice a minor on the Internet. Randall Casseday, 53, was arrested at 9:45 p.m. yesterday in the 1300 block of Brentwood Road NE, where police said he had arranged to meet who he thought was a 13-year-old girl. He had actually exchanged Internet messages and photographs with a male police officer posing as a girl. (http://washingtontimes.com/metro/20060927-054303-9103r.htm)

Brian J. Doyle. The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested Tuesday for using the Internet to seduce what he thought was a teenage girl, authorities said. Brian J. Doyle, 55, was arrested in Maryland where he lives on charges of use of a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor. The charges were issued out of Polk County Fla. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/04/05/department-of-homeland-se_n_18517.html)
If you enjoy sending other people’s children to war while your kids go to college and hang out in bars, you might be a Republican:
On August 2, day two of the summer terror scare, Jenna and Barbara Bush had to go to midtown. . . .Later, Miller invited the whole group, about a dozen of them by now, back to his loft farther down Bond Street, where they drank wine that someone had brought from their dad’s wine cellar. The party continued till 3 a.m. or so, which made it kind of an early night for the twins, who have been known to shut down meatpacking-district clubs like the tiny, exclusive Bungalow 8. Once, at that club, Jenna saw Joey co-star Jennifer Coolidge and a few friends in a banquette across the way. “I loved you in Legally Blonde 2,” gushed Jenna (Coolidge played Reese Witherspoon’s hairdresser confidante). http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/rnc/9699/
If you start a war in Iraq while lying to the American people that Saddam was tied to Osama Bin Laden, you might be a Republican.

If you failed to complete your own National Guard service and your Vice President received five deferments to avoid service in Vietnam, but accuse political opponents who challenge your failed foreign policy in Iraq of being cowards , you might be a Republican.

If you call dark skinned people Macacas and Niggers, you might be a Republican.

If you ignore intelligence community warnings that Bin Laden is determined to strike inside the United States, you might be a Republican.

If you follow policies that squander a budget surplus and create an $8.5 trillion dollar budget deficit, you might be a Republican.

If you expose the identity of an undercover CIA officer in charge of tracking down Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, you might be a Republican.

If you believe the President should be entitled to jail, without recourse to Habeus Corpus , anyone he decides is a threat, you might be a Republican.

After careful consideration, I realize that I lack the moral bankruptcy, cowardice, and fiscal recklessness to call my self a Republican. I've decided, I am an American.
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All you have to do is download the transfer, print it on iron-on transfer paper (you can get it at Walmart, Target, Staples, anywhere you can get printer paper, really) and follow the transfer paper directions. The transfer itself is a large, hi-res (8.5" X 11", 300ppi, PDF document in a handy zip file) image in reverse so that it'll appear correctly on your t-shirt once you iron it on. Enjoy, and remember that Jesus said share, so link to this and pass them on. Doing it at home will save time and money instead of paying CafePress to do it for you. This way you can keep the costs down because for the price of one CafePress shirt, you can buy several blank tees and a pack of transfer paper and have lots more than one.

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