June 18th, 2006

I Love You, Daddy - Happy Daddy's Day.

I've been writing the following letter to my father for months now if not longer. I've wanted to tell him what he means to me for longer than I can remember, and today felt like the right time to do that, so this morning I gave him this letter and sat with him and my stepmother while he read it, D at my side:
June 18, 2006


It wasn’t enough for me to find you a suitable present for Father’s Day, I needed for you to have something more personal and meaningful from me today. This has been a long time coming and something I’ve meant for you to have for several years now, it’s just never felt like the right time. I realize that such a time doesn’t exist, and I of all people should know that the appropriate time to honor someone you love with your love is as soon as it occurs to you to do so.

I don’t really know the best way to explain my love, respect, and adoration for you, it is has many layers and I want to give justice to each one. I think perhaps the best way to explain it is to explain to you what I think of when I think of you, something I do much more often than you can imagine, and when I do, I feel overwhelmed at what you’ve given me. I’m a good man and a strong man, and an awful lot of good is done for others in my name and because of my influence. That would not be possible without the love, guidance, and influence of you, and when people ask me how I became the man I am I give you the credit you’ve earned as a man, as a father, and as someone they would have been lucky to be a part of. I wouldn’t be as patient and selfless a man as I am were it not for the examples you raised me with, I wouldn’t feel as strongly about my convictions and earning respect through actions as I do were it not for the things you have shown me.
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While he read it, I noticed his lower lip quivering which always means that he's fighting back the urge to break down and cry. I know it well, because I do the same thing. After reading it, his eyes were brimming with tears and he thanked me for writing it, told me how much it meant to him, and said he would keep it forever. I thanked my stepmother and explained how much I love her as well and how grateful I am for the love and joy she's brought to my Daddy's life, because he was so miserably unhappy and lonely for years before her. He stood up to hug me, tried to speak, but his voice cracked and all he could manage was a whisper, telling me again how thankful he was and how he loved me. He hugged me tightly for a long time, and it was possibly the best hug I've ever gotten from him.

I have never felt as close to or loved by my Daddy as I do today, and this has been the best Father's day ever.