May 28th, 2006

Dos & Don'ts (& More Don'ts) for Gay Boy Refugees

Hat tip to elcid89 for this, you are the BEST, man!
Dos & Don'ts (& More Don'ts) for Gay Boy Refugees

So you made it out of that backwater town in one piece. Now comes the hard part--acclimating to a new place and living an openly gay life. Soon enough you will discover which bars cater to your distorted physical ideals, that meth is very bad, and that a deep tan is ugly and pre-cancerous--but what about the other stuff? Here's a cheat sheet to save you some time and trouble.

1. You are not a strong black woman. You never will be.
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Another Memorial Day Post

From DarkSyde's Dailykos diary, I give you the brilliant Requiem for a Nightmare

* President George W. Bush - served four years of a six years Nat'l Guard commitment, some say after daddy's friends pulled some strings to keep him out of Vietnam. The circumstances of his early separation from state-side service are still controversial (details)
* Karl Rove, occasional Deputy Chief of Staff and alleged full time smear artist, escaped the draft and did not serve
* VP Dick Cheney - several deferments, by marriage and timely fatherhood
* Former VP Chief of Staff I. Lewis Scooter Libby - did not serve
* Secretary of State and former NSA Condaleeza Rice - did not serve
* Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist - did not serve.
* Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert - did not serve.
* Former House Majority Leader Tom Delay - did not serve
* House Majority Whip Roy Blunt - did not serve
* Majority Whip Mitch McConnell - did not serve
* Rick Santorum, third ranking Republican in the Senate - did not serve.
* Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott - did not serve

Recently while stammering out a convoluted apology for avoiding service, one budding Yellow Elephant mentioned in part that he 'can support the Yankees without wearing their uniform.' Not too far off: Your average Chicken-hawk does not play for the Yankees because they lack the physical skill required to walk out on that field and compete; likewise, maybe they do not serve in Iraq because they lack the simple courage required to walk into a recruiting office and sign up. But how about his role models?

* Rush Limbaugh - did not serve
* Sean Hannity - did not serve
* Pat Buchanan - did not serve
* Ann Coulter - did not serve
* Ralph Reed - did not serve
* Bill O'Reilly - did not serve
* Michael Savage - did not serve
* Bill Kristol - did not serve

UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE

Gas prices are exponentially higher every time you turn around. The war in Iraq goes on to the tune of untold amounts of money, lives of Americans and Iraqis, (to say nothing of why the world at large now hates us) and all with no end in sight. We're fighting insurgents, NOT 'terrists'. Meanwhile, the Taliban in Afghanistan has never been better! Hurricane season is around the corner and we're going to be fucked again as FEMA is one giant, nut-filled piece of shit. Did I mention New Orleans is still a complete trainwreck? Knock knock! Who's there? Osama! YOU MEAN HE'S STILL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE??? Are you fucking kidding me? The motherfucker's dragging around a godamned dialysis machine and we STILL haven't caught him? No, wait - Chimpy says catching Bin Laden is not important anymore. Immigration - don't EVEN get me started. NSA Wiretapping and congressional scandals left, right and center. $225 billion trade deficit, and it keeps swelling. Did someone say Global Warming? The Plame case. I could go on for days about real issues that are affecting us all, real problems that beg to be addressed and hit with real solutions - but the thing is, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist has made it clear already - gay marriage and flag burning are highest priorities. Marriage is not the cornerstone of our society, fucknut - the Constitution is. Writing discrimination into it will serve to accomplish nothing for the benefit of society, nothing at all. I give a shit about the flag when what's really on fire is my equality. Let's push legislation that makes it a federal crime for Republicans to wipe their shitty asses with the Constitution, how about that?

I suggest making flags out of flame retardant material, enforcing a real penalty against adultery, and outlawing divorce - then problem solved and everybody wins. Of course, if you've been divorced already then you don't get a say on 'protecting traditional marriage', you couldn't manage to get it right on your own watch so you can just fuck right off, hypocritical bastards.

They're firing up the religious conservatives and the microcephalic windbags that make up their base, they're all plenty hungry and there's plenty of them to appease. Midterms are coming up sooner than you think, folks. One more thing. I'm getting dangerously close to inflicting physical harm on anyone who from now on uses the phrase "We're fighting this war for our freedom", because that's a stadium full of bullshit. Nothing could be further from the truth and I'm through being lied to. I say Revolution.

“If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable.”
— U.S. Supreme Court, Texas v. Johnson, 1989.