March 15th, 2006

You can't pay for this kind of shit, I swear. *shoots yet another fish in an overcrowded barrel*

by Jerry Falwell
"Earlier today, reports began circulating across the globe that I have recently stated that Jews can go to heaven without being converted to Jesus Christ. This is categorically untrue."

Remember now, Jerry Falwell loves the Jewish people - even if they're all going to hell. My guess is there isn't a Jew alive that would consent to be part of Falwell's heaven if it means he's actually planning on being there.

Also, remember a while back when right wing fuckstain extraordinnaire Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuela's president, then said that Ariel Sharon's stroke was retribution from God for the Gaza pullout? Well now he's stepped up his game a bit. Stay with me...

700 Club website scrubbed Robertson's controversial comments calling Muslims "satanic"
Summary: The Christian Broadcasting Network has scrubbed from its website Pat Robertson's comments on The 700 Club that Muslims who protested controversial cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad were "satanic" and "crazed fanatics" who were "motivated by demonic power." Robertson added that "the goal of Islam ... is world domination."

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Why scrub the comments, is he not the head moran in charge? If he speaketh the truth and is so influential, then why exactly is his own company now spinning and erasing like this shit isn't actually happening? Either be proud of him or stone him to death, no more fucking around.

Effective immediately, I am issuing a fatwa against Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and all 9 of Jerry's chins. JIHAD ON YOU BOTH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!
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[Reality / (God + Creationists)] - Evolution ≠ Science -or- 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense
Opponents of evolution want to make a place for creationism by tearing down real science, but their arguments don't hold up
When Charles Darwin introduced the theory of evolution through natural selection 143 years ago, the scientists of the day argued over it fiercely, but the massing evidence from paleontology, genetics, zoology, molecular biology and other fields gradually established evolution's truth beyond reasonable doubt. Today that battle has been won everywhere--except in the public imagination.

Embarrassingly, in the 21st century, in the most scientifically advanced nation the world has ever known, creationists can still persuade politicians, judges and ordinary citizens that evolution is a flawed, poorly supported fantasy. They lobby for creationist ideas such as "intelligent design" to be taught as alternatives to evolution in science classrooms. As this article goes to press, the Ohio Board of Education is debating whether to mandate such a change. Some antievolutionists, such as Philip E. Johnson, a law professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of Darwin on Trial, admit that they intend for intelligent-design theory to serve as a "wedge" for reopening science classrooms to discussions of God.

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(hat tip to mdmcquaig)

Oh, SNAP!!

"The signal that it sends, that there is in any way a lack of support for our commander in chief who is leading us with a bold vision in a way that is making our homeland safer, is wrong."

Would somebody remind this prick he leads the party that impeached a popular president during wartime?

(hat tip to Bartcop)

Oh yeah, when was the last time I mentioned the magic number? 34%, folks. *stabs an apologist*