August 16th, 2005

WHAT THE FUCK????? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN??????

My cousin Robb was killed in Atlanta today in a car crash. My sister called to give me the news about an hour after it happened. It's strange, it was always Lynn, Robb, and me either together or seperately all summer long - all of us together on some weekends, or me at the others' house for weeks at a time over the sumer and winter breaks. And in less than a month, I've lost them both. It feels like I'm always losing someone.

I swear, the rate at which things inside me keep snapping and irreparably breaking, I'm not going to have much left keeping me glued together. Between people fucking everything up, people dying, and people consistently disappointing me every fucking time I turn around, I've all but given up.
There is never a right time.
There is never a perfect time.
There is ALWAYS a better time.
I don't believe this anymore.
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