May 13th, 2005

Oh for fuck's sake...

Dear Readers;

I'm not sure who knows about this, but the fact is that as long as there have been penises and public parks, people have been having depraved, unnatural sex in them. Good sex, bad sex, str8 sex, homo sex. I know this is going to come as a shock to many people, but I feel it is my duty alongside, and in unshakable solidarity with, my Utahan bretheren to expose the ugly truth about the most dangerous kind of sex there is, even more dangerous than (...gulp...) buttsex - now brace yourselves, there is no easy or delicate way to put this, so I'm just going to say it. It's taking over and it must be stopped, I tell you - STOPPED, I SAY! My apologies, It's just that my delicate sensibilities can only take so much. The danger I speak to warn you of is... consensual sex... MEDIC!! CODE CHASTITY, STAT!! WE HAVE A PURITAN DOWN, I REPEAT, A PURITAN IS DOWN!!

We must do everything within our powers to cease the insanity of recreational sex for pleasure before our teenage children fall prey to its temptations! DAMNIT MAN, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! Do you really want your teenagers to grow up in an environment that allows free sexual function at will, a response to their unnatural urges simply because hormonal changes within the body are occuring all of the time that signal the pleasure centers in the brain to create fire in one's genitals? Should we not insist on repression and regression so that our continuing, collective efforts to keep this lustful savagery on the straight and narrow until a man is older, having suppressed his carnal, animal lust until he is forced to seek anonymous gratification from strang... Wait, I confused myself, which is exactly what these devils want!

We simply cannot allow the free will of one person to copulate with another merely for the purpose of satisfying intense yearnings and/or desires, that's just crazy talk! Everytime a person engages in lascivious, copulatory concupiscence, God gives an old lady cancer! Think of the Grannies while you read and watch video of this shocking undercover exposé.

Disturbing Behavior at Family Park
"THIS IS NON-STOP, PEOPLE COMING IN AND OUT OF HERE."

A favorite family recreation spot with a darkside.

Tonight - we show you, what our undercover cameras caught, out in the open. (click the image to watch in Real Player)

Debbie Dujanovic joins us, live ... with this Eyewitness News Investigation.

What we caught on tape goes on here, all day long, everyday.

That's why we went undercover.

To warn you -- about the secret-side of this public playground.

The Jordan River Parkway --- a quiet escape in the heart of Salt Lake County - for walking, biking, hiking.

Local goverment spends millions of tax dollars here - paving, maintaining, tables, bathrooms, bridges.

Miles of trail winding along the Jordan River.

But there's a secret side to this public place...

Also see accompanying story:
The Secret Side of the Playground: Parts I and II
</sigh>

Yep, he's mine...

After lunch today @ Panera Bread:
thedigitalghost: Why can't you just admit that you're wrong and I'm right?
jesus_h_biscuit: Because we both think we're right, and the problem is you won't agree to disagree on this fact.
thedigitalghost: THAT IS NOT TRUE!

At Lowe's:
jesus_h_biscuit: Oooh, look at the pretty orchids!
thedigitalghost: Those aren't orchids, they're irises.
jesus_h_biscuit: No, they're orchids - you can tell because they look like vaginas, not that you'd really know...
thedigitalghost: What a vulva thing to say to me!
jesus_h_biscuit: ROFLMAO!
thedigitalghost: Great, now I have this nasty taste in my mouth...
jesus_h_biscuit: *dies*

In the truck on the way home from Walhell*:
thedigitalghost: Communist? Atheist? So yes, the Chinese don't really have a religion. No prayer in China. Only rice...
jesus_h_biscuit: lol, crackhead!

* Overheard from some redneck woman to another one in Walhell:
"I am tryin' to keep muh kewl here, but you are just-a pullin' on muh cord..."

Hmmm... I hope her cord wasn't the one in her hoo-hoo, because that would just be wrong. I might have nightmares now about confederate cooch.

Saturday Intinerary

We're leaving Columbus in the morning to meet arie at Whitewater, spending the morning.afternoon there.

In case you missed it in the emails, dinner plans have changed. We're now meeting at Roxx, 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd, 6PM. Centrally located, and sounds like a better time in general. And cheaper than Nuevo Laredo Cantina, so that's always good. Apparently this is a very cruisy place, but what would you expect from Cheshire Bridge. Ah, my old neighborhood... *sigh*

In attendance will be astounded, old_age, xtex, six10steve, icemeltz4u, thedigitalghost, and myself. It is possible that we may be joined by others, but I'm not getting my hopes up as everyone is already committed to doing other things.

I am looking forward to this in a big way, I'm very excited and happy to be spending time with old friends, meeting and making new ones, and doing it all with my beloved.
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