April 18th, 2005

Holy Hottentots, hide the women and liquor!

I have no idea what possessed that subject line, it's a blurb from an old Bloom County (moment of lamentable silence)... comic. Oh Bloom County, how I loved thee so. Anywho...

Last night D and I went to take pictures of Tina, CJ, Karen, & her date Josh before they left for dinner and Senior Prom. They all looked phenominal, and the pictures turned out great. Afterwards D, Mom, Dad, & I went to Al's Schnitzel Gasthaus for dinner, where upon I ate Jaeger Schnitzel with mushrooms and gravy (hence, Jaeger Schnitzel) & spatzle until I almost went blind. D got rouladen, which was nice and rich and I managed to get a couple of bites of that as well. Came home at around 9:45 or so and was so tired I could hardly stay awake. I went to bed about 10:30 - 11, and promptly woke up at 3ish with sinus pressure from hell. Took my decongestant and a couple of shots of Flonase once my sinuses opened up, thinking I would go back to sleep - but to no avail. That's the suck thing about being unable to sleep well most days, once you wake up - you're awake.

This morning D and I went biking on the Riverwalk, it was a nice ride. Came home and got showered and all cleaned up, went to Panera Bread for lunch with Maggie. They have excellent broccoli & cheddar soup, and I got a cup of that with half a turkey sammich. From there we went to Mom & Dad's to hang out with the family a bit, then Mom, D, & I went to Old Navy. I ended up with one of their huge shopping bags overflowing with stuff - t-shirts, shorts, socks, underwear, the usual. Went to Toys-I-Lust, saw some cool board games and such and did the obligatory "This fucking sucks, we never had shit this cool when I was a kid!" thing, then went to Barnes & Noble. I lost interest once I discovered they didn't have the Photoshop book I want in stock, so we left there and went to Bath & Body Works. I got some soap and a bathroom smell-good thingy that you plug into the wall, only it smells nothing like what it's supposed to. Feh, just big, fat FEH. From there we went to Bed, Bath, & Beyoncé where I got these cool new sheets made from Modal, this fiber made from Beech trees. Imagine the softest cotton jersey sheets you can think of, then multiply that softness by 300 and you get the idea how soft they are. They were insanely soft to begin with, and it all doubled after I washed them. UH. MAH. GAH. Oh yeah, I finally got a bathmat for my shower, one I actually liked, thanks Mom & D for picking it out.

So now I've washed all my new clothes and put my new sheets on the bed. Everything is all nice and put up where it is supposed to be, because I hate not having my things in order. Yes, I'm that guy that makes up his bed once he gets up and out of it, and I fold and put away my clothes as soon as they get out of the dryer. I like organization, it keeps me calm and sane. Well, relatively speaking. I'm going to curl up in my soft new sheets with my book and freak myself out a tiny bit more before I fall asleep. This book is very interesting, but I don't think just anyone would like it. It is called Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, and you can read an excerpt from it here. It was reccommended to me by mondragon and wound up on my doorstep courtesy of mlion & dubhain, two of the bestest people one could ever have as lifemate friends. I might be sending them this book when I finish it, I really think dubhain would enjoy it. It covers everything from cremation to what happens when you donate your organs and/or body to science. It covers historical ideology on death, funerals, and embalming. It chronicles different accounts of historical wierdness, like graverobbbing and such. Best part of it is it's hilariously funny. Mary Roach is someone I would be friends with in real life. Imagine a book on dead bodies and what happens to them, by their own choice and otherwise, written by equal parts of bghsmith, dubhain, rahaeli, city_of_dis, ladysisyphus, xtex, and myself. Yeah, thought so.

Recorded The L Word to DVR, will watch it tomorrow. Energy is fading fast and I really want to read some before I'm too sleepy, so off I go. Already I want it to be morning so I can have some coffee, I'm craving it like mad.
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

Once again, fuck me.

I tell D that I needed the break from feeling down, and that I wasn't going to think about anything that is bothering me. He's in a bit of a funk as well, so I was trying to be encouraging for the both of us. I could be sad if I let myself think too much, so the alternative was to keep myself busy with the things I need to take care of and stay occupied. So what happens the minute I stop to take a quick moment for myself? The same thing that invariably always happens, the thing I try hardest not to think about is right there staring me in the face, sort of tauntingly as if it wanted to say "You can try all you want, I didn't go anywhere. I can still make you feel like complete shit anytime I want to, so there."

So now everytime I finish a thought, there it is making me sick to my goddamned stomach. I swear, sometimes I cannot win for fucking losing. Now I'm all frustrated and my heart is in my throat, and I wonder why I even bothered getting out of fucking bed today if this is what I would end up feeling like. I tried so hard not to let this happen today, I really did.
  • Current Music
    You Don't Know Me - Ray Charles