March 28th, 2005

Alright, bitches...

Enough! Practically everyone on my Friends list is suffering in one respect or another, has had a really shitty weekend or didn't have a good Zombie Sunday yesterday, is depressed, or otherwise infirmed. This means only ONE thing.

It's Time for Monday Mirth!!
Yes, that little collection of fun stuff that's bound to perk you up and offer some perspective!


Let's start with I Am Terri, some random fundie yahoo's stab at poetry so unbelievably bad that gloomy goth kids everywhere are pointing and laughing at the eleven-fingered, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, cousin-fucking cretin that gave unholy birth to this abortion of artistry. I dare you to read it and not get an attack of nausea, 10,00 points if you read the whole thing without shitting yourself.

Next up, a bit of news!
Arafat Killed By High Tech... "Laser" Attack - Envoy
Damned sneaky Jews, with their high tech lasers and what not!!
Source: Malaysian National News Agency [Link]

Tractor driver suffocates under pile of manure
BULLSHIT!!
Source: MSNBC [Link]

IMAX theaters reject film over evolution
Some theaters in South believe 'Volcanoes' a tough sell
Source: [Link]
CHARLESTON, South Carolina (AP) -- IMAX theaters in several Southern cities have decided not to show a film on volcanoes out of concern that its references to evolution might offend those with fundamental religious beliefs.



"We've got to pick a film that's going to sell in our area. If it's not going to sell, we're not going to take it," said Lisa Buzzelli, director of an IMAX theater in Charleston that is not showing the movie. "Many people here believe in creationism, not evolution."

The film, "Volcanoes of the Deep Sea," makes a connection between human DNA and microbes inside undersea volcanoes.

Buzzelli doesn't rule out showing the movie in the future.

IMAX theaters in Texas, Georgia and the Carolinas have declined to show the film, said Pietro Serapiglia, who handles distribution for Stephen Low, the film's Montreal-based director and producer.

"I find it's only in the South," Serapiglia said.


GET THE FSCK OUTTA HERE!!
White house seeks an end to Presidential term limits, new Bush re-reelection strategy leaked to media sources!

I David Rees for jumping into the Schiavo fray with new Get Your War On cartoons:



Heads Up - NSFW
This is the worst, most gayest tattoo EVAR. xtex, this link's for you: Merman! MERMAN!!

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Now, try having a better day, please. Or I'll kick your fucking asses and petition to have Dubya's feeding tube removed. Got it? Good. If you have fun stuff or linkage to you'd like to contribute, then by all means pass it along by replying here.

Excellent bumper sticker slogans!

I'm gay, you're an asshole. I was born this way, you'll die that way.
Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs do.
I'd rather be gay than Republican
And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?
Nice perfume - Must you marinate in it?
Sometimes I think people are the sperm of the devil
Thank you for not breeding
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
You're making a food order Not choosing life insurance
Just say NO to sex with pro-lifers
Your flag decal still won't get you into heaven
Are you as close to Jesus as you are to my bumper?
Bet Jesus Didn't Talk on His Cellphone While He Drove
Its too bad stupidity isn't painful.
FREE TIBET! with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink
Jesus Had a Mullet
JESUS SAVES SINNERS And redeems them for valuable cash and prizes
Oxymoron #43: Religious Tolerance
God is my co-pilot But the Devil is my bombardier
Heck is a place for people who don't believe in gosh
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister!
I Love Christian Snuff Films!
American Taliban: The Religious Right
Born once, that was plenty
Christian Fundamentalists Are Proof That Evolution Does Not Exist
Religious groups should stay out of politics or be taxed
So Many Right-Wing Christians So Few Lions
GOP does not spell God
If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it?
If you don't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child?
A penny for your thoughts A dollar if you flash me
Kids need DADS, not visitors
Daddy drinks because you cry
Protect the Sanctity of Divorce from Gays