March 3rd, 2005

Why the hell can I no longer sleep?

I took some cold medicine that has diphenhydramine in it, which is a sleep aid. I took it just before midnight. Why then did I wake up at 3:30ish, and have been unable to sleep since? I feel like hell, my throat and sinues are extremely sore, and I'm tired as fuck but unable to sleep. In a word, Goddamnit.

More on Harvey Milk

I'm thinking a lot about Harvey Milk these days. I'm thinking about Pride this summer and National Coming Out Day this fall. I'm thinking about the "good, God fearing people" who make a complete mockery of everything they claim they stand for in their outrageous fanaticism and blatant lying. I'm thinking about all of the people who live closeted lives who will never feel the freedom and sense of liberation that we who have come out do. And while all of this breaks my heart, I have hope and promise for this year.

It is my hope that people will rent The Times Of Harvey Milk, or better yet they will buy the DVD. That they will show it to all of their friends and create more awareness of the film. That people will understand that it is only through the bravery and action of people like Harvey Milk that we can be allowed to have things like Pride and National Coming Out Day. Especially in these times, when the current administration and fundamentalists (and the apathetic who go along with them against their better judgement) is injecting such fear and intolerence into the country, all in the name of protecting families but wrapped in ruthless, cutthroat politics.

I was raised to be politically aware. It was always a topic of discussion in my home, and I was always encouraged to formulate my own opinions about things. My father has always been Conservative, and we have always butted heads on issues. My mother is the quintessential bleeding heart liberal, who once told me she'd forgive me for almost anything, but never for voting Republican. I was raised very aggressively to stand up and be a voice for myself and those who couldn't find the words for themselves, and to be their advocate. That is what I set out to accomplish last year on Senate Resolution 595. I spent countless hours on the phone with people, I got people registered to vote, I went to political meetings about it for the Human Rights Campaign and Georgia Equality, I went to protests and marches and talked directly to members of the Christian Coalition - politely asking them what real threat was there to their marriages besides divorce. I sat in on the House Rules Committee meeting the day SR595 hit the floor, and walked all over the Capitol building going from office to office of state senators and representatives with handwritten letters asking that they please vote no on 595. The ones that wouldn't see me in person, I wrote the letters for and then called them to follow up. I called the offices of those who voted NO and thanked them personally for their vote and for their words addressing the chamber and the gallery above. I helped organize and pass out petitions against this piece of shit, and against the Federal Marriage Amendment.

I believe that this year will be the best Pride I've ever had. Because I've worked harder to be a better man for not only myself and my family, but for people everywhere who want the same choices in life that I want. Because I'm proud of my achievements this past year and I think I've earned it. I'm tired of mourning losses, I want something to celebrate. If nothing else, Goddamnit, I deserve that.