December 20th, 2004

Just when you thought it was safe...

I have a new Ann Coulter. Her name is Michelle Malkin. Yet another journalist/syndicated columnist/wannabe pundit who is so puritanical in thought and chaste in her holier-than-thou morality that it's damn near frightening. This is a woman so uptight that I'll bet she's never farted in her entire life, let alone used an unconscionable word the ilk of "fart". Clearly, such a disdainful word which would surely taint the moral fabric of anyone that ever employed it - even once - and would forever blow her image of anyone that did. Provided that person was not a conservative.

What bothers me the most about people like Malkin is that she moves though her columns (which I have read on occaision to mock or be enraged by, just as I've listened to O'Reilly, Schlessinger, Hannity, Limbaugh, and other moronic blowhards for similar reasons) and her editorials throwing shade left and right - mostly to the Left - on anything that doesn't fit her regressive idealsm that we should all go back to the fifties and if we must have missionary sex, then gosh darnit we better not enjoy it! (Moralistic rants like hers tend to freak me out a little.) But then I read an excerpt from her latest "novel", the startling IN DEFENSE OF INTERNMENT: THE CASE FOR "RACIAL PROFILING" IN WORLD WAR II AND THE WAR ON TERROR.

It could be just me, perhaps I am a little sensitive about the entire concept of "interment". First of all, it's a bullshit term. When Malkin or any of the cons/neocons/paleocons acclaiming this misguided, harmful drivel as genius finally have the balls to call "interment" what it really is, I'll be happy to personally go toe to toe with her. Nothing would please me more than to dive headlong into punditry and appear as a guest panelist on Hannity and Colmes alongside Malkin. I'd first have to bitchslap Alan Colmes on principle alone. Let's face it, he's a pathetic representation of a Liberal, but that's for Sean Hannity's benefit. That's how Jesus H. Murdoch over at Foxnews wants it, so that's how it is. Sooner or later they're going to make t-shirts of Hannity giving Colmes a wedgie, or an overmuscled Hannity kicking sand in the face of a punier than normal Colmes. Whatever, moving on.

Secondly, I'm pretty sure that scores of people of Asian ancestry might take issue with one of their own extolling the virtues of employing concentration camps. But slap me if I get sentimental.

Third, she'll hold Chris Matthews up to a standard that she won't hold Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, or Rush Limbaugh to. When it's one of them, they're just exercising their First Amendment right to free speech. When it's Chris Matthews on Hardball, it's AMBUSH JOURNALISM...OR MY EVENING WITH CAVEMAN CHRIS MATTHEWS. Fucking bootlicker.

The first time I ever saw her on TV was on Realtime with Bill Maher, Episode #33. Beautiful woman, but spineless in the truest sense of the word. Not unlike Ann Coulter, who in Episode #42 shows that just because you can use terms like "two visions of foreign policy" in a statement (which, shockingly I agreed with her on the point - ::cringe::) and just because you're a rabid bully it doesn't mean you have a spine. Ann's biggest problem is she seemingly never knows which bed to get into or out of, therefore she hates anything and everything that doesn't fit into her "I'M A BIGGER CONSERVATIVE THAN YOU ARE AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" sense of self idolatry. I also suspect she's a closet necromancer. I think she's bitter that she never had a threesome with Reagan and McCarthy. I'd bet a stick of Juicy Fruit on that one.

Jesus H. Christ, I want a cigarette...
  • Current Mood
    FUCK ALL

(no subject)

I feel like shit in every conceivable way. Physically and emotionally exhausted. I've dosed myself up with Ghetto Nyquil. It's going to be a long, cold night.

threw you the obvious
and you flew
with it on your back
a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.

difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and
you don't see me.

but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.

here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.

so i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.

oh well. apparently nothing.
apparently nothing at all.
you don't see me.
you don't see me at all.
  • Current Music
    3 Libras - A Perfect Circle

OWWIE!!

My poor baby boy! Cole was playing in the backyard with the neighborhood kids, who always come to our house to hang out and play. Apparently we're the playground of choice for the under 12 set. Anyway, he comes knocking for me at the back door, he'd been climbing on the fence and gashed his right leg open on the side between his shin and ankle. It's a deep gash, and at least 4 inches long.

I normally can stomach things pretty easily, having taken care of many senior citizens and children over the years - but this made even my stomach lurch over. I got kind of scared at first, but after about a millionth of a second I got him to calm down and threw an ice pack on it. It wasn't bleeding too heavily, and we wrapped his leg in a clean, damp cloth that would transfer the cold from the icepack faster and help with any pain. I called Maggie and told her the quick & the dirty, and told her she needed to get home ASAP because I suspected this might require stitches. I turned on cartoons for him and laid him out on the couch, propped his leg up higher than his head and gave him some apple juice. Juice makes anything better.

Maggie & Nathan just got here, took a quick look at it, and whisked him off to the ER. Throughout this, he barely even whimpered and even then it was only right after it happened. What a big boy he is, he's getting so grown so fast!

Will edit this post once they bring him home and let everyone know more details as they unfold. He's fine, though - don't worry.

EDIT:

He's home, he ended up with a tetanus shot. They cleaned the wound and said that one hair deeper and it would've been stitches. They gave Maggie the option, she said not unless they were really necessary, and Cole was relieved. He wanted to hurry home to show me his bandage. Right now he's in Maggie's bed watching TV and resting, where he'll likely be for the rest of the afternoon.

WHEW!!