December 14th, 2004


Dear Slackjawed, Mouth Breathing Fuckchop Driver Of The Tricked-Out Four Banger Who Almost Took The Front Of The BMW Off While I Was Exiting The School,

I cannot decide who is the bigger asshole in this situation, you or the cop who observed you doing this in the school zone and did n o t h i n g. Probably the same cop D and I saw in the drive-thru @ Krispy Kreme this weekend. No, I'm not making that up.

You are a complete waste of piss, blood, and shit. I have ingrown asshairs that serve more purpose in existence than you do. Please kill yourself as soon as possible and I'll consider that my birthday gift from you.

Ducks & bunnies,


Video Post!

In honor of my birthday, I have made my first ever video post. Now you all get to see and hear me for yourselves! I don't think I've ever seen anyone else do this, so I thought it would be a cool idea.

Anyway, without further adieu, I give you my first ever video post!

Video Post #2

It was a great birthday, and I'm finishing my wine and reading myself to sleep. Two glasses of wine, I get a little lazy in my speech and out pops the drawl. That is all for now.