December 12th, 2004

"He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger..."

After careful consideration of my life and all of it's contributing stresses in general, I hereby conclude that there are only two things I want for my birthday. One is sushi. The other is a serious reality break, in a place that is peaceful, quiet, and free of any strife. Neither of them, as you will notice, is a birthday party of any sort. I simply don't have the energy this year is all, no more no less.

Shopping in Atlanta today was fun, save for the two accidents we witnessed and the nightmare traffic jams that made me once again grateful I no longer live in that town. I brought home a pound of my most favorite Caribou Coffee, the Daybreak Morning Blend. I'm going to try to sleep late and have already set the coffepot for when I drag my half dead, headachey-from-the-wine self to the kitchen. One flick of the switch, three minutes to pee while my coffee brews, and then I get to enjoy an hour or two of quiet time where there (hopefully) will be no chatter, no noise, and no small people asking me for breakfast as they are spending the night with Grandmommy & Grandpa. Just calm down time with some kick ass coffee. It doesn't really take much to please me.

Alrighty, I've stayed up long enough to drink two huge tumblers of water before brushing my teeth in an effort to stave off a hangover. Now that I'm done, it is time for sleep.
  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent

Weekend in Review

This weekend was kind of "The Suck". Very emotional for almost everyone on some level or another, and also very long and tedious. I'm not going into details, because frankly a lot of this I need to work on forgetting.

I made up my mind early this morning that I need to cook a lot this week. Cooking gives me balance and a sense of peace and order in an otherwise chaotic world. Plus, it's right in keeping with my nurturing side to feed people satisfying and really good home cooked meals. It is getting a bit cooler here finally, and when the weather starts getting cooler I begin to crave spicy food and lots of soups and stews. Nothing fits that ideal better than Cajun, and for variety I'm also doing Cuban. I made up my shopping list, and so I could have a little time away from the house and my worries this afternoon I did the only thing I enjoy more than actually cooking - grocery shopping.

Being that I'm thrifty and have learned how to keep a pretty well stocked pantry, I only spent $60 and came home with enough food to make the four meals I'm cooking this week, which will also be enough to generate leftovers for lunch. Here's what I'm making:

Chicken & Andouille Sausage Gumbo

- not a DAMNED thing, it's my Birthday and I'm eating sushi until I go fucking blind

Chipotle Barbecued Pork
- tortillas
- mixed green salad

Red Beans & Rice
- Caesar Salad

Black Bean Soup
- Mushroom and roasted green chile quesadillas

All of these recipes will eventually go on my cookbook website, I promise. I'm going to take lots of pictures of everything being prepared to go into the recipe pages as well, in keeping with the rest of the site.

I have to say something else here as well, because it is important that I not only share this with him but in such a way that everyone can know it as well. Damien, I love you more and more all of the time - I want you to know that. I cannot explain to you how much better you have made me feel today. You know how difficult it is for me to cry in front of people, even (and especially) when it comes from frustration, and even when the person is you. Simply reaching over to hold my hand when I broke down and lost it and not saying a single word was just what I needed. What you did was exactly what the timing in that situation needed, and I love and respect you so much because of that. It would only be someone who knows me as well as you do to know how to react to me in a situation when I feel most vulnerable, and you made me feel grounded and hopeful that this will all get better in that simple, yet powerful gesture.

My hope for anyone reading this is for you all to have for yourselves someone who makes you feel as lucky, as honored, and as completely loved as I do. I arrive at this realization where he is concerned every couple of months, but this time it is the best gift I could be given right now. I am most grateful.
  • Current Music
    As - Stevie Wonder