September 7th, 2004

EXTRA EXTRA!! Time for some SERIOUS honesty!!

Here's what insomnia and a hurricane outside will do for you! I realize how much of the bullshit I write I know is nowhere as important as some of the things I think about to myself, which is why so many of the things I keep in my journal are for myself only, and no one reads them - NO ONE. Some of that is just for my own peace of mind, some because I'm not brave enough to have it known by all. I have to keep some stuff for myself. This post is the result of feeling that it wouldn't hurt to give a little glimpse into that honesty I keep reserved. Might even help ::shocked look: to know me better, the pretty AND the ugly. Deep down I don't care who knows some of this stuff, but to keep some mystery makes me feel more complete. You should never really know everything about a person, some stuff is just for themselves.

There's a fine line sometimes between what we know is to be kept inside our brains and what - in split seconds, sometimes - goes flashing through long enough to annouce its importance with a huge BANG! that seems so totally taboo, so "I wound NEVER..." that the mere thought of someone else hearing it would be your undoing. As I get older, that line becomes more and more weak.

I know that at least part of the reason why I'm fucked-up is because of sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm a grown man and I like myself just fine, so this is not self deprecation. I've admitted to pretty much anyone who asked that in my past I was a complete whore, especially in my teens and going on until my middle twenties. I've learned to embrace that part of me, good - bad - and indifferent and just accept him. Disclaimer: The remainder of this post is about sex, and some of my own personal experiences. If you don't want to know that much about me, then I suggest you stop... Collapse )

Because Jesus Said Share...

I made an edit to the entry I posted earlier, stating that I will screen all of the comments so that only I can read them UNLESS you specify otherwise. If you don't mind your comments being read by others, reply to this and let me know and I'll unscreen you.