July 19th, 2004

Since you clearly cannot help yourselves and feel the need to bother...

I have no complaints about my life and my choices. Considering the suffering all around me, I have nothing to complain about and no energy to waste on such triviality. I delete on sight any email and/or commentary to my journal that serves no purpose except to vilify me. I won't bother reading it, it is trivial waste of time, as insignificant as those that babble it, and completely beneath me. With everything else going on that causes such misery to people who have earned my love, trust, and loyalty, and who work hard to maintain those same things, I will not waste one single second on things that do not matter or people who are of no consequence. I have no regret for writing off people I thought I knew, it was going to happen as soon as they hung themselves anyway and I knew that months ago. To top it off, Damien and Maggie both reaffirmed that fact for me countless times within the last 6 months alone. Standing on the other side of a bridge that I have set fire to, trying to tell me something about myself is equally as pointless as the content of whatever you have to say. It falls on deaf ears, I'm not listening to you and never will again. Now if you cannot leave well enough alone, that is your misfortune. Waste your time trying to comment to my journal under another username, that'll go straight into the trash as well. And having said that, I have nothing further on the subject ever again. Moving on...

The entire weekend really has felt cursed in some way or another. Hard to explain, but that's what it has amounted to for me. I've been in a bit of a funk for three days now, and I'm hoping that whatever it is will cease itself by morning because I'm a little tired of feeling like this, it fucking sucks. Pretty much everything I originally set out to do or accomplish this weekend got fucked. Now mind you, I'm not the least bit bothered by the way things panned out, as sometimes things don't work according to plan. Life doesn't give a shit about your plans sometimes. I welcome any time I get to spend with the people I love and live for, even if it does happen in the shittiest of circumstances. You have to learn how to adapt and deal with the circumstances you're given. It tests your resiliency and keeps you sharp. I've learned how to sacrifice and do without, and I know how to be resourceful when I need to be. I don't hurt for things if I don't have them anymore, I just wait my turn and hope that sooner or later the universe works in my small favor again. And it will or it won't all the same, worrying be damned.
  • Current Music
    You Can't Always Get What You Want - Roilling Stones

Aiight, I don't normally be doin' this, but today I be doin' it...

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  • Current Music
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