June 12th, 2004

Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks.

I feel like hell. My body is tired, my head is cloudy, my mind is in overdrive, my heart is numb except for being fed up with nonsense, my patience and understanding are on vacation, and the quality I most despise in other people is the most prevalent emotion in me right now - apathy. Whatever, we all make choices. I'm not wasting my time, fuck all. I don't even care that I don't care, I'm THAT fed up. I was talking about this with Damien last night, and he put it better than I could have by simply stating that some things are just a lost cause. Come Monday I'm getting the hell out of here and having some fun with my sweetheart and my family. Today and tomorrow I'm spending my time at home with them and getting my energy saved. The rest of the world can marinate in it's own bullshit for all I care.

I'm worn out and worn down, and I'm not putting myself through a proverbial emotional meatgrinder ever again. My dear friend Tarah comes home next week, it's been a long time since I've seen her and there is work to be done. I'm going to clear this current shit out of my head and spend time with her, then after that is back-to-back Pride.
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    Dixieland Delight - Alabama