May 27th, 2004

(no subject)

Me: "Check it out - apparently cilantro has antibacterial properties and can even kill salmonella."

Maggie: "Yes, which is good considering it's inherently Mexican."

I'm singling no one out here but if it sounds like I'm talking about you, then I probably am.

It's no secret that several of the people on my friends list are having/have had fallings out with one another. Some are older, some are newer, all are pretty goddamned ridiculous in at least one respect or another. If you can't be big enough to at least try and fix things with the people you've considered best friends, and I mean SINCERELY try, if you cannot at least bury the proverbial hatchet, if you cannot stop going on and on and on about people you choose not to associate with anymore, then you're not marching with us. Same thing with people who don't even affect you anymore - either let it go, or march with someone else.

Before June 27th rolls around, and on behalf of Maggie, Damien, and myself, we want to make a few things clear to everyone planning on walking with us in the Pride March. First of all, I'd love it if everyone who wants to come WOULD come and at least for one day put your shit aside. Because if you can't, then you're not marching with us - PERIOD. We're sick of the shit talking, sick of those complaining about it doing just as much of it, it's all crap, it's all tired, and we don't want to hear about it anymore. We don't care what your reasons are, enough is enough.

Pride is about tolerance and celebrating diversity. It's about people who have felt oppressed from living in fear having this space in time to let it all hang out and be open to everyone. It's about remembering and honoring those who have fought so hard - some with their lives - to affect change and strive for equality. It isn't just some big excuse to party and hang out with your friends. If that's all it is to you, celebrate that with someone else, not us.

The one person I want more than anyone to be there with us for the parade march is Shane. Yesterday was his birthday, he would have been 30 years old. Shane put value in his friendship with me. His friends weren't disposable, and when something about me bothered him he brought it directly TO me for us to have a dialogue about and either remedy it, agree to disagree, or otherwise accept it. That's what you do when you're grown folks.

It bothers us no end how some of you can profess to place so much value in your friends one minute, but wreck that entire idea in a the next minute and not accept any of the blame for your part in the whole drama. It's always someone else's fault or some such shit. Even when it doesn't directly affect us, it still affects us. You are all grown folks, either fix it your goddamned selves or shut the fuck up about it. Don't DARE come to this house and bitch and talk shit about people, we don't care WHAT they did or did not do to you. Make your peace and move on and away from it. If they're not on your friends list, you have no reason to read and mock their journal except to start shit and be an asshole - and that's not acceptable behavior. For my part, I love you all - but I will not be complacent. Grow up, worry about your own shit, and stop this nonsense.

Before the defensive and bitchy postings start, understand something. If you're guilty of anything I've mentioned, deal with it. If you think you might be guilty of something I've mentioned, give it some thought. If you know you're not guilty of something I've mentioned, then clearly I'm not talking about you. Just because I love you doesn't mean I like the way you behave sometimes. It's still the part where I love you that counts.