September 25th, 2003

Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - The Drinking Game [courtesy of gregmce]

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy -- The Drinking Game
by Greg McElhatton

Take a drink every time...

The straight guy has dirty dishes in his sink.
The straight guy has underwear on the floor.
The straight guy's tub has so much dirt you thought it was a pattern.
The straight guy shaves against the grain.
Carson says, "Let's motor."
Carson tells someone to "tjuzs" up their clothes; two drinks if someone else says it.
Carson makes the straight guy hug him.
Carson's outfit is terrifying.
Thom speaks in a fake southern accent.
Thom throws everything out in a room.
Thom mentions Benjamin Moore paints.
Ted's food is unappreciated by the straight people.
Ted's food is messed up badly by the straight guy.
Ted is groped by another member of the Fab 5.
Kyan is having a bad hair day.
Kyan says the word "product"; two drinks if it's in reference to putting the product in at the back of the head and moving it forward.
Kyan comes onto the straight guy while they're immobilized at the spa.
Jai gives the straight guy free tickets to something.
Jai has done absolutely nothing of importance by the halfway point.
Jai is insulted by one of the other Fab 5 members.
One of the Fab 5 is wearing flip-flops.

Take two drinks every time...

The straight guy is wearing tighty-whiteys.
You see the straight guy's ass crack.
Jai does something very important in the episode.
Any of the Fab 5 eat or try to eat the straight guy's food.
The Fab 5 break something belonging to the straight guy.
The Fab 5 find the straight guy's porn.
It's an episode with Blair, since it just reminds you that Jai was an improvement.

Take three drinks if...

You change part of your life because of a suggestion from the show.

Start drinking and don't stop until it's over if...

The straight guy goes commando.

Optional &/or Alternate points

Take one drink when...

A sponsor gets their name shown on the screen.
Kyan bitches about how the straight guy shaves.
Jai sings.
Carson makes a double-entendre.

Take two drinks when...

The straight guy gets bleeped upon entering his redecorated place.
Any of the Fab 5 comment on a woman's breasts or cleavage.

Take three drinks when...

Ted uses a flame-thrower.

(no subject)

SMU shuts down race-based bake sale

It takes all kinds, I swear.

In watching different news programs and political analyst type talk shows, there are a lot of interesting things that keep coming up. I like that people like this venomous cunt Ann Coulter end up making a mockery of their own intelligence the moment they begin speaking, it paves the way for the same bullshit that 'Conservative' Republicans (what, as opposed to Liberal ones?) try and pass off as logistical and ends up being no more than failure after failure at the congressional level.

Why is it that every time (in my lifetime) that there is a Republican White House and Senate we end up going to war, our deficit swells tremendously, and unemployment rates soar? I cannot be just me that sees this, people!

I think that Dubya handled 9/11 very well in the initial months and I was glad he was the one in office as Al Gore ::shudders:: would have completely fucked it up. Al Gore ::reshudders:: could fuck up a wet dream, I don't want him or his nazi bitch of a wife ANYWHERE near a government office. But then this whole Iraq thing went down and it came under the guise of a master plan that was allegedly designed to find WMD's that we were SO SURE were there and the whole deal would have taken significantly less time, money, and resources than it has and a follow up plan to establish a working, sustainable government so we could have pulled out and taken care of our own business. Yeah, Saddam Hussein needed to be taken down and ripped apart by rabid wolves - but that could have happened any number of ways that didn't involve a full scale invasion. Again, it was noting more tha Dubya's way of trying to one-up Daddy for not getting the job done when HE had the chance. The current administration had NO plan established for this war in Iraq, it was nothing more than that frat boy "Let's kick his ass! - Dude, that'll be sweet!" - high fives all around the oval office kind of mentality. I have no doubt in my mind that Dubya just has a raging hard-on to one up his Daddy and be a hero like the people on 9/11 and in everyday life that actually fucking earn that status and that is his prime motivation. All of this to say nothing of the very real threat of North Korea that could actually do us harm over Iraq who does nothing more than to piss us off. Then we have a hurricane last week that calls for emergency disaster funds that aren't there because allocated funding for disaster relief gets sucked up in this Iraq bullshit. Yes, I realize that the deficit was in effect long before Dubya got the job but it's his responsibility now. I have the same gripe anytime a president/senate/congress allocate funding for ridiculous shit when there is a bigger picture to consider.

And people wonder why I am Anti-Republican.

Oh yeah, read THIS shit: Do Poor Fathers Deserve Debtors' Prison?

What a load of sexist, arrogant bullshit!! If it was a single mother who tried this same crap, she'd be crucified - full stop. When you send out the message that men should be given a break for not paying child support because they can't afford it, just call it what it really is and say fuck these little bastards for being born - let them starve to death. Single mothers don't get the luxury of not having to be responsible for their children in the majority of these cases. They want to go on a hunger strike to protest the laws against fathers that have to pay child support? Fine with me - fucking starve to death you heartless, irresponsible, stupid bastards - see what your kids have to suffer because of your sorry asses.

Maggie emailed the columnist this letter:

I see this issue from both sides--as the wife of a man paying child support and as a friend of many women who are owed money that they do not receive. While I can sympathize with the strain that it puts on a father, or "non-custodial parent", I am first reminded of a concept that is increasingly absent in our country as a whole: COMMITTMENT.

The decision to have children is a lifetime committment. People don't seem to take into account how they and their children will be affected by divorce, separation, or choosing to have children outside of a committed marriage (the man is just as responsible for having protected sex as the woman). Men should realize that it will be difficult and use this knowledge to work even harder to make the family work. That would eliminate some, not all, of the "deadbeat dads".

My second point is that women, or the custodial parents, don't have the luxury to simply not support the children if times are tough. And the tables don't turn when the man gets a job or begins making money--mom doesn't get to pay nothing while dad cover 100% like she did.

No doubt, the system needs to be changed, but don't eliminate the threat of jail time. After all, thatsymbolizes(unfortunately) what our society is about--punishment. If men cannot be trusted to take care of their children on thier own, there must be some consequence. It is criminal to abandon a child, whether emotionally OR financially.

Maggie Stephens-Mitchell
Columbus, Georgia

She pretty much said everything I wanted to say as well. VIVE LE MAGS!!
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