June 10th, 2003

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My plans for biking last night fell through as I totally forgot it was Maggie & Nathan's date night. I ended up staying here with the kids. After dinner (spinach penné with Emeril's sauce and fake chicken strips, or 'Fricken' as we call it) I let Avery swim around in the tub for a while to wash off the pasta sauce she fed herself (it was a tomato-based nightmare) while Cole went across the street to play with his new best friend Hayden. Avery was especially giggly last night and every time I moved too fast she would break out in a run giggling her little head off - so I followed behind her with the obligatory "I'm gonna get you, little girl!" thing. A few times she would trip and fall, but being that she was already laughing she didn't complain. She came to me at 9:00 while I was standing over the sink peeling roasted peppers for sauce and handed me her blanket - then led me to her bedroom and pointed to her crib. I picked her up, got kisses, and put her to bed. When I walked out of the room, she was singing to herself. Cole came out of the shower and curled up next to me to read his new book while I read from mine until Mags & Nathan came home.

Tonight I will go for my long bike ride. It doesn't matter to me if anyone else comes along, feel free. I'll have my headphones on and will be riding fast tonight, so know now that this is going to be my workout ride. Once Maggie is working from home I'll be able to do these in the mornings that she's going to be here and can double my efforts.
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I was just thinking...

I remembered when I came out to my mother and she said "Good for you - can you hand me those socks? My feet are cold" and my father screamed so many obscenities at me that I'm sure some of them weren't even really words. Part of me expected him to react badly, if at all, but it still hurt to hear some of the things he said. I remember one thing in particular that stopped him dead in his tracks. He said something to the effect of "There are hundreds of people who change and get out of that lifestyle, and goddamnit - you WILL be one of them!" I looked him straight in the eye and said "No, that's not true. The only choice is to tell the truth or to lie and I'm not going to be a liar for you and if that hurts you, then maybe you deserve to be hurt."

My friend zaque18 came out to his parents recently, and being bonafide members of the God Squad they didn't take it well. I don't want that sort of thing to happen. I don't want people to suffer the cruelty and vulnerability that we have. I want to be part of an environment where people can come together and support one another, where everyone feels safe and accepted - and most of all, where they can feel normal.

I want to is to get a PFLAG chapter reestablished here in Columbus. I'm going to look into it when I go to Pride in Atlanta.


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My sinuses are for shit, I'm on antibiotics. I went biking with Maggie, who hung in there like a champ for all 6 miles. She even rode her bike up all of the hills and didn't walk it at all. Of course, for as good as I feel that I went biking when I'm not 100%, now I feel like four sacks of shit with a side of smashed assholes. I'm consoling myself with fresh lychees, strawberries, cheese, and vanilla soymilk. Silk soymilk, chocolate and vanilla, kicks much ass.

For those fellow vegetarians and anyone else so inclined, Morningstar Farms is a great company. They make these things called "Grillers", which are vegetable and grain based alternatives to hamburgers. They even make this stuff already crumbled that you use like cooked ground beef - and it's AWESOME. I've made chili, spaghetti, lasagne, calzones, and stuffed peppers with it and it rocks. They make a spicy black bean burger patty also, that's what I had for dinner tonight with lettuce, tomato, and avocado and it rocked balls. I still love Gardenburgers, matter of fact I heard you can get those at Denny's now too! Boca burgers are alright, but they are not as good as the other two.

I'm going to be compiling a wish list of books, so once I finish it I am hoping somene has some of them I can borrow.

Tomorrow we're getting a baby seat for my bike so Avery can go riding with me now and then. I can hardly wait, too - she's going to hate wearing the helmet but she will love riding. She loves motion and feeling the wind rushing around her. Will post pictures as soon as I get them.
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