March 16th, 2003

Sunday Morning

I feel very restless this morning. I usually ahve the baby to contend with after I've had my coffee and everyone has left for the day, so she sustains my energy level - but she's at Grandmommy's with Cole and I feel like I'm going stir crazy.

I'm definitely riding my bike this afternoon, the weather is supposed to be in the 70's and there is no rain on radar. I have no idea where I want to go riding, that depends on if anyone else wants to go along. I'm cool for riding here or going downtown.

We have to go to Sam's today as we didn't have enough time yesterday to go. I think that's about the only place we have to go. Did the big weekly grocery shop trip yesterday. I love going to Sam's and if nothing else just looking around. There's something very comforting about that place. The air in there is artificial and the light is as well, so you kind of go into a dream state when you're in there. Kind of like shopping in the mall. I think there are little subliminal messages in the elevator music they pump into these places that make you want to buy unnecessary shit...

There is some infighting amongst friends right now that is (as usual) most distressing. It's really sad when you get down to it. Sadder still is that is just keeps cycling somehow. I'm still waiting to get myself brought into that crap someday, as I know it isn't far away. I could even tell you what I think it will be that comes around and tries to drag me into it - but at the risk of inciting said bullshit I'll keep it to myself. That being said, this IS my journal, so...

If any of you spend time wondering why people (for the most part) don't trust you or hold you in high regard, how about trying to be a more trustworthy friend all of the time and see where that leads.

One thing I'm learning about myself as I get older is that my patience for children over the age of 18 is so thin you could fucking read microfiche through it. I spend the majority of my day with a 10 month old and a 6 year old, both of whom are 10,000 times easier to deal with than some people I know.

Maggie and I were talking yesterday in the car on the way to Damien's house about something I'd like to share. She told me about this kid she knew in high school who was a doctor's son. This kid got a Ferrari for his 16th birthday, right - then did something bad and his father took away the Ferrari and gave him a Land Rover instead as punishment. ::goes into a flurry of seizures with that distinctive "OH FUCK OFF, JUST FUCK OFF!!" look:: This is not only sad, this is downright cruel. I'm sorry, but struggling for something and having to make due with what you have instead of having something on your own is one of the only things that builds a person's character - not imagining how you want your life to be and pretending that is who you really are. It makes you resourceful and independent, it makes you show what you're really made of when you have to take care of yourself without a safety net.

I'm thinking of many different people as I write this, some I know and some I used to know, so before anyone decides to post comments to this entry I'll remind you that no one is being singled out here. Remember that before posting commentary that might incriminate you and show anyone reading that I'm describing you to a "T". When you're wrong, 9 times out of 10 you know that shit before you decide to fuck up and still keep on going.

::turns on my heel, takes ball, goes home::
  • Current Music
    What You Signed Up For - Jennifer Nettles Band

Read This Carefully:

As of my last post and the time I've spent thinking about some of the complete bullshit going on, I realize that:

A: I am involved to the point that my name has been dropped several times in the course of the last two weeks of rumor circulation, and B: everyday there is something new either going on or being embellished or added and therefore I have a proposal to make for all of you I've heard shit about or are directly/indirectly involved in this neverending stream of diarrhetic babble and backstabbing underhandedness.

This is what I propose. I would like for the following people to meet on neutral ground, like the bandshelter at Lakebottom:

and myself

The purpose of said meeting will be to finally, once and for all, put rumors to rest; call one another out on things they have allegedly said to accuse one another of; hold one another (and yourself be) accountable for your actions; and see for yourselves who really is your friend and who just claims to be.

I ask this in the name of settling this bullshit and putting and end to it, resuming friendships or finally severing all ties, and getting closure. I would hope that people could behave like adults, but I give up on that notion as it would be asking too much. I further ask that if people let their emotions get the best of them, then make sure you fucking kill one another so the rest of us can get along with it.

Life is fleeting, folks - all this bullshit that you think is important just isn't. You all pride yourselves on being free thinkers and having nothing to hide, I'm directly challenging that ideal right now. If you have nothing to hide and are not afraid of the truth, you have nothing to lose.

I've had it with this bullshit. I want to know once and for all where I stand with people and would hope you did too. I'm not going to walk on eggshells anymore and politely look the other way. And for the record, I can all but guarantee you that the things you might expect to hear will not be the things you actually do hear.

I want everyone to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to speak their peace for say 10 minutes each before commenting in person.

Before I finish, just know this - if we were all truly friends, none of this would be necessary. Simmer on that for a while.

This is not a joke, I'm completely serious. Either be in or be out, just know that if you choose not to participate then you forfeit your rights to talk shit about each other to me unless you talk to that person FIRST.


Whatever business might go on between roomates at Renea/Anjelica/Pam/John/Celeste's house regarding living situations, bills, money, employment issues and the like are for the members of THAT household to discuss amongst themselves and are not the business of anyone NOT living in that house. Discussion of such things is not pertinent to my suggested meeting of people, but instead an opportunity for everyone to see the alleged shit starters react when someone else rubs their noses in their own shit. If you have nothing to hide, you will have no problem coming to meet everyone. If you do have something to hide or are afraid of confronting one another with the truth, then you're not the friend you claim to be - so sit your ass down and shut the fuck up.
  • Current Mood
    deathly serious


I saw Reggie this morning while Damien and I were making a Dunkin Donuts run, she told me that she got fired from Boomer on Thursday for some lame bullshit reason. It was good to see her, she's such a sweetheart. I know that this is upsetting to her, but with luck she'll come to accept it as a good thing in time. She thanked me for always being sweet to her and making her laugh every day when we did our morning shows. Those of you that know her keep her in your thoughts and send her good energy please.

(no subject)

Dixie Chicks' Lead Singer Sells Soul, Relinquishes Backbone For Career

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (March 16) - The Dixie Chicks' Natalie Maines, who told a London audience earlier this week that she was ``ashamed'' of President Bush, said Friday she's sorry for her comment.

``As a concerned American citizen, I apologize to President Bush because my remark was disrespectful,'' the singer said in a statement. ``I feel that whoever holds that office should be treated with the utmost respect.''

The Dixie Chicks, who are from Texas, are on a European tour. While in London, Maines told the audience, ``Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.''

Angry phone calls flooded a Nashville radio station on Thursday, some calling for a boycott of the trio's music. Two Dallas stations stopped playing the group's music because of Maines' comments.

The popular group won three Grammys last month for their multi-platinum disc ``Home.'' They have the No. 1 country song with ``Travelin' Soldier,'' about a soldier in Vietnam.

On Friday, Maines said the group is ``witnessing a huge anti-American sentiment as a result of the perceived rush to war'' while on tour in Europe.

``While war may remain a viable option, as a mother, I just want to see every possible alternative exhausted before children and American soldiers' lives are lost,'' she said. ``I love my country. I am a proud American.''

Maines' contrite statement is in contrast to her comments on Thursday, when she said: ``I feel the president is ignoring the opinion of many in the U.S. and alienating the rest of the world. My comments were made in frustration, and one of the privileges of being an American is you are free to voice your own point of view.''

The Dixie Chicks will kick off a U.S. tour on May 1 in Greenville, S.C. The group's other hits include ``Wide Open Spaces,'' ``Ready to Run'' and ``Landslide.''

I like the Dixie Chicks. I like when women can assert themselves and be sassy without being a raving bitch, clawing at the eyes of everything. This whole thing is nothing more than her record label & manager coming back and saying "You're gonna cost us a lot of money in sales there, Galileo..." Recanting is for quitters!