October 4th, 2002

I Love All Of The People In My Life, Even The Ones I'm Upset With...

ROCK ON!! WOOHOO!! ::does the cabbage patch::

Met the new owners of the station last night, they were great and I'm very excited. Everyone seems to be more relaxed and eager for the changes, I think the collective feeling is that we're finally going to be what we should have been all along.

Biking on the Riverwalk last night was fun, but you have to read Mom's joural for the best part! ::my sides sche still from laughing my monkey ass off:

I got an email from Paige last night and forwarded it to Maggie as she mentioned Mags in the email to me. I'm posting it along with Maggie's response to her (she said everything I wanted to say, so I didn't reply to Paige myself) in the link at the bottom of the page here. I want to save the rest of the page for my own thoughts for you all, for Paige, for John, and anyone else who might read this. Here goes...

Nothing is perfect in life, and you don't always have to know what you're going to do next. I say all the time that there's never a perfect time or even a right time - but there's always a better time. I'm not crucifying anyone for their mistakes, I'm just not going to pretend like I think the ones you make deliberately are acceptable when they're not. We all have choices and options - maybe not the ones you wanted or planned on - but we still have them. I love Paige and John, but they are both victims of the choices they made. While I will not apologize for having standards and principles for what I consider acceptable human behavior that I refuse to compromise on, I want nothing but good for both of these people whom I've grown to love.

I'm not going to be put through the frustration of dealing with anyone who doesn't take responsibility for their life and act in their (or their children's) own best interests like they're supposed to. It is common sense that you do what you can to make your life better, it is no one's job to do it for you. If you're on a mission to destroy everything that is good in your lives, you can do it without me because I'll be goddamned if I'm going to sit and hold your hand while you do it. I will not be guilted and I will not have my sympathetic side exploited. Bottom line, I do not condone, accept, or enable self destructive behavior - especially when you're bringing other people (who are trying to help you out) down with you. I'll drop your ass flat in a minute before you do it yourself, because if you don't care about yourself how the hell can you expect me to?

Maybe you think me separating myself from you was easy. Let me assure you it is not - it is agonizing, to tell you the truth. I miss you both, but I cannot and will not listen to the same things over and over - nor will I be played for my emotions to keep enabling your bullshit. My love is unconditional, my friendship and respect is not. Question my sincerity, question the depth of my friendship, accuse me of being insulting - it makes no difference to me. If I said it, I meant it and I have nothing to defend, justify, or apologize for. It is my hope that a day will come soon when all of us can live an active part of each other's lives - but for Paige and John, you've got to bring your standards for living up closer to ours for that to happen.

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    She's Got A Way - Billy Joel