January 19th, 2002

This is is why I love Al...

My boss, "The Legendary AL Haynes", is the program director here at the station and one of the few people I would willingly solicit advice from. Al is one of those people that I'm just genuinely happy to see everytime he walks in the room. He is seldom without something that makes me feel better.

This morning he came in during my show and asked me how I was doing, that he'd heard about me and Daniel and was wondering if I were okay. Al is one of those people that is just so easy to talk to because he's always on your side. I gave him the cliffs notes of the situation, and his response was "How can a person live life that? You either live a lie, or you live the truth - either way, what is he supposed to do in order to be happy?"

I told him, "I know, Al, but what am I supposed to do?" He responded, laughing, "Well, I've been married twice, once to a white woman, had two children out of wedlock, and I'm probably not the best person to ask!" So of course, I was cracking up. He also told me a story about an old friend of his that was related to my current situation. His friend made a comment to him one day about him being the whitest black man he ever met. AL told him that wasn't true, only his white friends thought that he was a white man. Which is kinda funny.

I always believed that he was worth any effort I put forth towards him, even if I wasn't sure of what I needed to do, that if nothing else he would know that he was important to me and that I was there making the effort. So why is it that I wasn't worth that same effort?

Life is wierd right now, I feel very out of place. I want it to feel normal again.
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