Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

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Time Flies When You're Flaming Fundies



Fundie: CAN I TALK TO U FOR A MINUTE
Me: Sure, I might have a minute to spare - shoot
Fundie: SOME OF THE THINGS U SAID N THERE MADE ME MAD T U
Me: I assume you meant "mad at you", yes?
Fundie: YES
Me: I see. And being that I don't know you I should be concerned with your emotional issues WHY?
Fundie: UR GOING 2 GO TO HELL 4 ALL ETERNITEY
Me: I swear, you'd think that being omnipotent and all God would at LEAST be somewhat selective about the typing skills of his minions and representatives.
Fundie: ARNEN'T U SCARED OF HELL - U SHOULD BE
Me: I'm as scared of hell as you are of punctuation, man.
Me: You have a point to make, have you not?
Fundie: WHY DID U TURN FROM GOD
Me: You're assuming that I ever turned to God in the first place, which I haven't. There is no such thing, and if there were, I wouldn't care.
Fundie: PROVE THAT GOD IS NOT REAL
Me: Did I come to a Christian chatroom professing that there was no God?
Fundie: PROVE IT
Me: No - I was in a chatroom for ATHEISTS - you're the one who believes in this fairytale, I'm not the one with something to prove.
Fundie: WHY SO ANGRY
Me: Who said I was angry?
Fundie: UR BEING VERY NASTY ABOUT THIS DISCUSSON
Me: Because it is boring, man!
Fundie: UR AFRAID OF THE TRUTH
Me: Oh please - you blindly serve a God you'll never ever see and this makes you the authority on reason?
Fundie: UR AN ASSHOLE
Me: Careful, profanity is not in keeping with good Christiandom.
Fundie: WHAT HAPPENED TO U TO MAKE U TURN FROM GOD
Me: I'm not an asshole, however I have it on good authority that I have asshole tendencies.
Fundie: GOD LOVES U
Me: Well, you tell him I said "Thanks".
Fundie: MOST EVERY1 DOES BELIEVE THO
Me: That doesn't make Christianity normal, just commonplace.
Fundie: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U DIE THEN
Me: The same thing that happens when a lightbulb burns out.
Fundie: UR SICK
Me: Not for long, I'm taking a really strong decongestant.
Fundie: UR NOT FUNNY
Me: You know about this new version of AOL? The 9.0 version?
Fundie: YES I'M EXCITED
Me: WHOA! Is that an actual apostrophe? Clearly you ARE excited!
Fundie: LOL
Me: It's going to have some great features.
Fundie: I KNOW
Me: Are you on 8.0?
Fundie: YES
Me: Oh, rock on! That version does the coolest trick.
Fundie: WHAT TRICK
Me: Press the Control, Alt, & Delete keys at the same time and AOL will download a really pretty Jesus screensaver onto your computer, but you have to do it twice...
Tags: bitchslaps, fucktards, fundies, humor
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