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I Tried Not To Cry, But I Failed. 
20th-Dec-2008 10:01 pm
Martian Child
My sweet little brother, my dear friend, and now former room mate CJ has just left here and is heading towards Philadelphia for an extended stay with his Mother. He won't be back for several months and when he does come back it is only for a very brief time as he is moving across the state to Savannah next summer.

I sat with him as he packed up his carry on bag and did what I've been doing for the past week whenever I imagine him leaving us - I fought back tears so I wouldn't make it harder on him to leave than it already is. His time here is done, he's done all he can in this town and it was time for him to move on. I told him again that I'm proud of him and the choices he has made, that I couldn't love him more if I tried, and that he always has a home to come back to whenever he needs it. He held me by the now packed trunk of his best friend's car and rocked me from side to side, each of us only able to whisper and even then our voices threatening to crack. Then I gave him a kiss on the cheek, pushed him away playfully, and told him to get the hell out of here. I had to, I couldn't take any more, and didn't want the flood to come where he'd see it.

I'm going to miss you until I see you next spring, baby brother, I love you and already miss you so much it hurts. I cannot see what I am typing.
21st-Dec-2008 03:21 am (UTC)
Aw, sweetie. {{{Hugs}}} from afar. As many as you need, or just want...
21st-Dec-2008 03:22 am (UTC)
Notta gatt-dam thing wrong with crying, no sirree.

Not when it has true meaning and feeling.

Let it all out. It's all good.
21st-Dec-2008 03:27 am (UTC)
I will send him happy thoughts in my city.

21st-Dec-2008 03:37 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2008 03:52 am (UTC)
You are seriously a super sweet man.
21st-Dec-2008 03:56 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Oh, babe...I want you to cheer up and look ahead to spring. And I'm giving you some of Mama Envirobear's Love in a Hot Soup Pot.

21st-Dec-2008 05:07 am (UTC)
How can you fail with tears, when you feel with all your heart? It's an honest emotion that you share so freely. I admire and treasure that about you. CJ is lucky to have you in his life. (the rest of us are too) Hugs, and much love to you.
21st-Dec-2008 11:21 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2008 11:27 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2008 12:20 pm (UTC)
Big hugs
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